KJ

I loved the witty dialogue. The ending was creative and amusing. I would have enjoyed this even more if I could acually understand the math (I suck at any kind ...

Hey. Like Chocoholic, I confess to skimming in the very beginning. It felt much like a poem at the start, and while I have no problem with poetry, I was ...

Just a couple nitpicks, seeing as I'm short on time: "Haydence"A soft voice called to the rugged boy seated by the large stained-glass window. This sentence, first, feels a bit ...

Hey. I had a few problems with this. In the very beginning Alicia was beating herself up for being SHY? I didn't get that vibe in Chap. 2. She just ...

Hey. This was also pretty decent. The only thing I didn't really like was when his ex shut up and you made it such a big deal that she had, ...

Hey. There were only two things that stuck out to me, that I think you should change to improve: I can remember screaming “NOOOOO!!” to him, as if I had ...

Hello. I've noticed that you have a talent for description and detail. You've done a good job on both counts from what I've read that's yours. I found no problem ...

Hey. I realize that this is super old, and that's you're most likely done with it, but it was at the top of the list in Fantasy Fiction and I ...

On the negative side, there was far too much narrative. Perhaps its my own taste, but I think that dialogue always adds to a piece. Maybe it's your spacing that's ...

Hey. I don't have much time, but I wanted to tell you what I think. This has a great plot, and some interesting aspects to it. I like how the ...

I thought this confusing and I wondered what exactly the point of it was. Are you trying to tell us that she isn't good at school work? That her and ...

I liked this. You have some good description and interesting little details. There were only two things I had a problem with: why does this girl pretend? Does she hate ...

Hey. As to your punctuation and grammar, I spotted nothing. As to the actual writing... I wondered at the point of it. I felt confused. You had some good description. ...

Hey. Overall, this was very well-written. However, I found myself bored because there was so much narrative. I would suggest dialogue, helpful descriptions, less details. You don't have to tell ...

It's probably just me. Everyone else seemed to like it. It reminded me strongly of the movie Pleasantville, and that's why it annoyed me, I think. In the movie everything ...