KJ

Hey. Now, I liked this addition. But - and this may be just me - I felt it was too mature of writing for a kindergarten-level kid. Other than that, ...

Hey. I also agree that the simplicity of Donald just adds to who he is as a character. It was completely believable that he is a child. Children don't notice ...

Hey. I don't have much time, but I wanted to comment. This was okay. Not bad, but not astounding either. It was an interesting beginning. Mind you, there was nothing ...

I don't know. To be honest, this still doesn't do it for me. There's nothing UNIQUE about it. It IS better as a hook and a beginning, granted, but it ...

Hey. I see that this was posted a LONG time ago, but I'm going to comment like I always would. I don't have much to say: This was very well-written. ...

Hey. I'm warning you now: I find that I'm being pretty harsh on this. So please prepare yourself. Two most-noticeable things: You need major spacing, and you have far too ...

Hey. I realize this was posted a while ago, and you've already turned it in, but I read it and wanted to comment. The only thing I noticed was this: ...

Hey! Sorry I haven't said anything about this - I didn't even realize you'd put it on here. You need to PM me or something so I know next time ...

I genuinely enjoyed this. It is well-written and you did well with your descriptions this time. The only thing that I found wrong - and this may be just me ...

As Hopey pointed out, there are many spelling errors. I'm going to be completely honest - this didn't do it for me. I felt there was way too much description, ...

While I realize you said you didn't want to post too much, you can't expect people to comment when they weren't given much of anything. We don't have an inkling ...

Hey. I thought this a good piece. You did well with the internal struggles of your MC. Only thing I would've liked is a little detail. We have no idea ...

Punctuation needs work. This addition was not the best, but I felt that it served a purpose. The MC got to the point where he needed to tell his mother ...

I hate to repeat things, but I found this puzzling. I didn't say vague - I don't have a problem with that in this piece - but we need to ...

Hey. Your language in this is beautiful, and you have an excellent flow. There were only three main things that I had a problem with: First, you switched tenses a ...