KJ

Okay, I'm back. Hey Angel. I just wanted to pay you back for all the reviews and reads you've done for me in the past. So here it is - ...

Kool, what are you doing up so late? Or early, I guess I should say. You should be sleeping around 3... Okay, my little motherly rant is over. Back to ...

This is really interesting. I think you've got something here, Nariel. But a couple things, as always :) You don't need to explain everything that's happening. Leave it up to ...

NITPICKS: I think she takes it harder than the rest of us, but that’s probably because she’s still fifteen and innocent. When you lose your innocence, that’s when killing just ...

Well, I liked it. Your style is unique, something I don't see too much of anymore, and the whole thing is just interesting. It made me think. A little inconsistent ...

Remember what I said about overreacting? Yeah, there's a whole lot of that in this chapter. I think you need to tone down both the scene where she showed the ...

While I enjoyed the actual writing - you have a unique style - your sentence structure I did not enjoy. Almost every sentence was the same in the very beginning. ...

It was in the dark hours of mourning when realization hit me. I know your MC is in mourning, but don't you mean morning ? “Yes, mother, charade. Those people ...

While I found this an enjoyable read - thought-provoking and posessing a beautiful flow - I couldn't see this as a STORY. It seems more like a jounral, almost, or ...

Hey. I'm here to offer my humble opinion and insert a few comments for consideration when you get around to editing. Your MC overreacts. Maybe you did that on purpose, ...

I'm not very good at reviewing poetry, but I thought I would give this a shot. I think you need more... advanced? wording. More description. Maybe you mean for this ...

First off, love the title. I don't know why, but for some reason I just LOVE this story. There's not even that much of it, and it does need a ...

Wow, I really like this. But there are a lot of problems with it. Punctuation, tense, and sentence structure. You are missing commas and capitalization. If you need help knowing ...

There were some punctuation errors. There should always be a space after the ...'s. Honestly, I didn't like this. There was no detail, no sense of setting or the character's ...

Wow, I like the title :) That's what caught my attention... Now, I pretty much skimmed this. Yeah, I'm admitting it. Why? Because I think your beginning needs a lot ...