KJ

Hi. Since you've had nitpicks and plot reviews, I just wanted to give you my take on the style here. First off, I love the way you began. Usually I ...

Since this is so short, I'm going to be really picky! The blanket of fog over the port was the early grey of dawn. The air hung heavy with moisture, ...

Hi :) I really like how open you left this. At the end of the chapter there are so many possibilities, so many places this story could go. I'm excited ...

I drew my sword, shut my eyes , and listened. All I could hear was my own breathing and that was it . Then all of a sudden I heard ...

Well, this was short - maybe too short to really give you a thorough review about the piece. Your plot has only emerged the tinsiest bit and there's not much ...

Elena stared blankly at the wall [Where is she? Is she staring at a classroom wall?] . The moment when he, Daniel, the most popular guy in school had asked ...

Hi, it's me, KJ. It's been a while since we've talked, hasn't it? Anyway, I haven't been around in a while and when I popped in and saw this on ...

Just to jump right into it, your hook was very good, but formatted oddly. I think it would look beter as something like this: "‘ Reincarnation, literally ' to be ...

I know I promised I would get to this. Sorry it took me so long. School's such a beast. Takes over my life and swallows me whole. Anyway, nitpicks first: ...

You don't want nitpicks, so I'll just plow right ahead and give you one blunt statement: You beginning needs work. You already know that, of course, so I'll give you ...

I liked it :) I'm in kind of a hurry, so I'm sorry this isn't as thourough as it could be. You need to work on the tenses; they go ...

The one thing I love and despise at the same time is reading something and finding no nitpicks. None at all. Because the writer's story isn't benefiting from useless comments ...

Okay, just to get right into it, I think that my major problem with this piece is the atmosphere you've created. Everything and everyone is so... chipper. Even the way ...

Hello yet again, E.B. :) Man, you pop out stories every other second! How do you find the time to eat and sleep? :P Okay, just going to dive right ...

Hi, JK. I read your piece and was genuinely surpised to discover no real nitpicks. There is this: Her face broke into a joyful smile, her eyes were sparkling--and it ...