Justagirl

I , as a daughter, worry for you. I know you're a mom, and can do what you want, (I added a break here) but please remember when you and ...

Listen carefully, and you might catch the sound of my voice through the rustling tree branches, softer than swirling snow. Although this is broken up into different lines, this sentence ...

This tiny , pretty thing that fascinates you " This tiny, pretty thing " is not the smoothest of words... If you'd like it to be a bit better you ...

It swims in this silvery pool of thought , Where nothing has ever happened to me; no has one ever loved me Regrets don’t matter here and there is no ...

Anything you see in purple is something I changed. Look at my bits that I brought out and purpled then at yours and find the difference. It was just a ...

Hey there, cute poem! Hoping that the storm would not ruin her splendor. The thought caused a droplet of water to come to her eye. "Droplet" seems like too long ...

Avelyn considered the truth. She d ecided against it. “I hated it.” “I don’t understand you , Avelyn. The hoodie went on last, wrapping her in warm , soft fuzziness. ...

“Jeez, Lauren. Why do you have to care so damn much?” With his eyes on the blackened road he said, “I don’t feel like having this conversation. So just shut ...

We broke down and lost it. I think this line would flow better as, ' We broke down and lost us. ' I might turn around, and guide you forward. ...

This is really great! I'm glad that they finally found someone who can help them. Helena seems like she'll be a good character. As usual I think you should take ...

I hold her in my arms and tell her , "It ' ll be okay . " I whisper, " D addy will always be here." And I tell her ...

Another great piece! Sorry it took so long for me to review it :( As hinted above, I loved this piece. It was just as good as all the others. ...

the voices echoes inside of my skull. This is either supposed to be 'the voices' echoes inside of my skull.' or 'the voices echo inside of my skull.' Choose whichever ...

It felt eerie, just sitting there, staring at the disgraceful state of the village, listening to the wind whistle through the dilapidated buildings, wondering what’d happened to the people who ...

Hey there, I really liked this poem. And I didn't find any little grammatical mistakes with it either... Although I don't think it flowed very well the slight abstractness of ...