Published December 9, 2011
She stood in the threshold watching the snow angel lie,
Hoping that the storm would not ruin her splendor.
The thought caused a droplet of water to come to her eye.
For surely, to the snow, the angel would be forced to render,
As a whole new layer would form, knee-high,
By the storm, blowing wildly, through the night.
And she, gracefully, stares at the sky,
Waiting for dawn to bring with it the first morning light.
The angel was not afraid of the hardships to come,
For she knew that when she was swept up by snow,
She would fly through the air and reunite with friends she used to know.
But she wished that to the door of the house she could run,
And tell the girl in the door not to cry, because no,
This event is not a sad one, not an occasion for woe.
As hard as she tried she could not bring herself to the door.
The snow in which she was enveloped did not wish for her to go.
So in the morning, she took flight to the sky once more.
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141,628 Literary Works • 675,279 Reviews
Hey Live out loud!!!!! Dogs here with your review for the day! This is a great piece, I really love the imagery you throw in here and how you really layer this piece with the imagery of the snow and the feelings of your character. I really love how your character has great depth in this poem. You talk about her desires and what she hears and see's and feels. I love especially how you despite the strong imagery you manage to layer these things in there and root them in your character which is not an easy task at all.
My only big criticism is that this is a larger block of text that makes it difficult and intimidating to read, or at least to me and my A.D.H.D self lol. Well thats all I have to say! Keep up the good work!!!
TuckEr EllsworTh
It was a good poem, definitely better than I could write. I enjoyed it. Keep writing!
Hey there, cute poem!
"Droplet" seems like too long a word for this line but "drop" seems to short... Is there anything here you can take out or shorten up?
Again, reunite seems like too long a word. Is there something else you could use?
So, this is a really sweet poem and I loved reading it
My only nitpick other than the ones I've pointed out above is a few of the longer words. If you read through the poem you'll find a few words that are a bit more difficult to say or have more syllables than the others and they interrupt the flow. You may want to find shorter, or smoother ones. Just an idea
Anyways, really nice job with this! It reminded me about how I loved snow angels as a kid and how innocent and beautiful they are.
Keep writing,
Justagirl