JordanEmert

This was so funny. I used to hate Twilight terribly. Now, I just hate the fans. Good Job, Keep Writing, haaha. -jordan.(:

I really liked this. You should've done more describing, but it hillarious! Good Job, Keep Writing. -jordan

Hey June! I'm Jordan. I really like the second paragraph. It was so powerful in just a three stanzas. I think it would've been better if it were longer, but ...

Really great poem. It was brilliant. The part I liked most about it would be how clear it was in my head. Nice Job. Keep Writing, you're great!

Hey Jamie! I'm Jordan and I'll be your critique. I thought it was a very good beginning of a terrific story. The only thing I thought you needed to add ...

Hey!! I'm Jordan and I'm your critique. I loved this... I'm a big fan of dreaming! Couldn't find mistakes. But I prefer I full word. (picky writer) rather than 'cause. ...

Esme'shere, terrific! I can't wait until you put Edward in. (If you do!) ans see how his and Bella's relationship is. Well, I'm going to go read the next Chapter!

I honestly love this story, I mean, who couldn't? Bella Swan is a vampire! I liked how you developed a strong father - daughter relationship between Carlisle and Bella.. Great ...

Ha ha.. Don't switch your features.. It was really short though. By the way, what does he/she turn into to?

It was pretty funny. I'm glad I don't live in a world where a king just sat on his butt all day. I liked the Paloni part. haha... Good Job. ...

wow. I loved how you turned Ben from a cocky boyfriend into a smart vampire!! I;m a bad critique, I tell everyone, so..... Terrific Job!

Terrific!! but finally I found one thing messed up. Towards the beginning, you put a sentence but it trailed off down into a new paragraph, but other then that, like ...

Chapter two was just as great as Chapter 1, if not better. I'm really trying to find mistakes but I can't, sorry I can't help you with that. Now with ...

Wow. I absolutely loved that Chapter. It is now my new favorite Chapter. I think you did amazingly on this chapter. It is sad =[ When is Chapter five coming ...

I liked Chapter three. In every chapter I see minor mistakes. Make sure before you post it that you check your spelling. I liked the end. I can't wait to ...