JordanEmert

Hi, I'm Jordan and I will be reviewing your work today. I agree with Dommy, you moved a bit too fast. I liked the very first part where she thought ...

I really liked that, I think it was the longest story I've bothered to read on here. I ecspecially liked the part where the rabbit got mad because Alice called ...

Hi! I'm Jordan and I will be revieiwing your story. First of all, I liked when you described how she thought she looked and sounded when the guy came over ...

I'm going to reply to your question first.. I don't think you put a comma after every line - but I could be wrong, I stink at poetry, critting and ...

Before here last night, you were my world. But now it seems like I'm not your girl. She likes you. I guess you like her. She hates me. Yet, you ...

I really liked that... a guy has two girl bestfriends but your thinking that you are the better one. I really don't know poetry I just wanted to try to ...

I really liked how you formed Bella into this character. I could see a very clear picture of Bella's mother getting beaten by her father. Very good job with that. ...

That was terrific! I am also a big fan of scary Vampire stories. My favorite part was the ending...... I loved it. I also liked when the main character screamed ...

I am a Twilight fanatic. =] I can't wait for the new moon movie to come out!! Anyways, back to your writing. I thought it was very good, it should ...

Hey yall. I wrote this but didn't review (I'm sorry! Writer's sin!) so tear the thing apart and edit like mad! ___ She stood in the doorway, hot air sticking ...

Once upon a time in a dank and dilapidated villagecomma in a dank and dilapidated house there was a man who was drinking heavily in a room by himself. He ...

Camille walked warily through the crowded halls of St. Henry Memorial High School, pushing her way through the crowds of people. She looked down at herself, "yuck" she thought to ...

I liked Chapter two but I still liked Chapter one better. I have a few complaints. Don't take it personally though. In that chapter, nothing happened that made me want ...

I liked your story. My favorite character was Derron, he was cute. I had a very vivid image of what all the people looked like. Very good job describing the ...

This is a very good start. I think I'm going to be reading all four of your chapters. This one was very good. There were some minor mistakes like not ...