JordanEmert

This was good! I just don't understand why he was standing outside in the rain. But, I like how they loved each other, and she knew she'd give him another ...

I really liked the idea of the story. I loved this, you should continue it. Sorry for the lame critique, I don't have many negative things to say. :/ But ...

I really liked this. You didn't exactly say who 'she' was, but I'm guessing it's the character's mom? I don't know, maybe not, it's just what I pictures in my ...

Hello, I'm Jordan... I thought your start was good. It made me picture a quiet little village with a slight wind. I also liked how you got right into the ...

Hi, I'm Jordan! I really liked the beginning, How you described your name and things. I like this. You made it as a normal story and not some fairy tale. ...

Hello Audrey. I'm Jordan and I'm going to review your Chapter. Well... Overall, I loved it. I only found one typo which is terrific, according to me. The only thing ...

Hello There! I'm Jordan and I'll be your critique. First of all... I loved how you started... with the creepy stalker guy always staring at Rose and put the creepy ...

Hey. I'm Jordan and I'll be your critique. (Well at least for now. :]) It was interesting how you compared yourself to the tree. It was... odd. But I really ...

Hello I'm Jordan and I'll be your critique. I thought you described everything very well and the only thing that I would recommend is that you put a Chapter 1 ...

I liked how you told us to picture them. I can just see Bella's hands in Edward's and his deep hypnotizing eyes. I can't turn down any Twilight story. I ...

Hi, I'm Jordan and I will be your critique this evening. (Its evening here, at least.) The Story- The story was brilliant, I loved the theme of it. You showed ...

Outstanding Piece! I take it one side was human and the oposing side were like, vampires? My favorite part had to be when she turned around and saw Derrik with ...

Hi I am Jordan and I will be your critique. I also noticed a lot of grammatical mistakes... Mostly, Spelling and places where you put a period there should have ...

Hi my name is Jordan and I will be your critique. The Story was very vivid and exciting. It painted a very clear picture in my mind and it had ...

I agree with White... I am not sure if I like it or not. It was very confusing. I'm thinking that the two characters can change their figure or something, ...