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Re: For Me
This was very good. The only thing I have a comment on is this: Don't end happily I think it would sound better as 'Don't happily end.' Other than that, ...
Mar 20, 2009 -
Re: A collection of poetry
Feed not on thy soul; For thy soul follows not convention. Render me with your colours And keep me near the wind. In the first line you should consider putting ...
Mar 14, 2009 -
Re: Poop Poop
Thien, this was hilarious, and to be honest, a little breathe of fresh air. Ironic huh. Fresh air. XD Anyway, I have to laugh at some of the comments that ...
Mar 1, 2009 -
Re: my love .
Hey Farikk. My name is Jon. its unbelievable, undescribeable , untouchable. 'its' should be capitalized and it should be 'It's' with an apostrophe. 'undescribeable' should be 'indescribable'. :wink: j
Mar 1, 2009 -
Re: Tribute to Puck the Fairy
Hey Kama! My name is Jon. I smell a Midsummer Night's Dream! You might need put put quotation marks around 'Midsummer's Night's Dream'. It's a play, yeah? I would get ...
Mar 1, 2009 -
Re: Twilight
Hey Chinchilla! My name is Jon. Every body knows your name. Everybody is one word. You beat up nerds for fun. I see where you are going here, but this ...
Mar 1, 2009 -
Re: Eulogy
Though surrounded by others, each one alone With no one to see them to a higher place. I would get rid of 'Though' and put 'Nobody' in place of 'with ...
Feb 7, 2009 -
Re: To Lily
June gets my 100th review! First off: Gold Star. June, this was absolutely amazing and I felt every emotion attack me. I didn't know you could write poetry like this! ...
Jan 28, 2009 -
Re: Remember?
Hi Hotaro, it's Jon! (Zero reviews and about to go off the page :?: :!: ) Remember when you said you loved me? Remember when you said you cared, Remember ...
Jan 26, 2009 -
Re: The Bomb Falls
first of all, kudos to you for trying something different! :D *Jon here* Beautiful, Silver, Humongous Birds, Why did you capitalize every first letter of the words? I suggest fixing ...
Jan 25, 2009 -
Re: Prologue: Here Comes Goodbye
Hey Tiff, It's Jon. :D She chucked the keys on the hallway table, and staggered into the living room. You make it seem as though she is drunk. I'm guessing ...
Jan 24, 2009 -
Re: Mines
Hi Eimear, it's Jon. Let me just say, WOW. This was very good! I do have some suggestions though. :D and through this witching hour of half etherized sleep-- I ...
Jan 22, 2009 -
Re: Author and Character
June! Haha! I don't think here is anything to improve! I loved this. *Gold Star* I pictured the Character as the ginger bread man off of Shrek, I don't kow ...
Jan 21, 2009 -
Re: Untitled
Hey June! :D It was quiet . This line is EPIC no. XD Just kidding, Maybe you could say, "Silence lived in the air, no one dared breath." Maybe? Tension ...
Jan 21, 2009 -
Re: Brains
Hey Snoink, thought I'd take a gander at this... :D Anyway, I like what you have here so far. I think that Jeremy Is bi-polar(Not really). I think that because ...
Jan 19, 2009
