Jon

i have nothing to really say because everyone already said it but i will say that i liked the message it gave that even if your poor it dosn't matter ...

interesting but, i agree with all others in the fact that it was just ok or it was interesting. although i did like the repitition! overall this was a unique ...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i just recognized you're new here on YWS, this is a very goo site for writers, so welcome and have fun now onto your po

KaaaaaaaBOOM! "Fireworks!" "YAY!" BOOM! BOOM! FWISSSSsssshhhh. "OOH!" "AAH!" BAM! bambam. BOOOcccrrrackllle. EEEEEEEEEeeeeePOOF! BOOM! BOOM! FWISH! FWISH! RRRRRRRAAAA... BAM!!! sssssssssshhhhhhhhh. "Y

If you ask me what is wrong--- comma? I won't know what to say If you ask what I want, I still will meet you with silence.-- this line breaks ...

Sight whirls legs turn to jelly.---- don't think you need a . Down the throat of a whale and into the belly--- good rhyme put in a . Black swirls ...

hey i am here as you requested, however, since this is a short piece and not full of mistakes i will mainly focus on the characters that you have and ...

hi rascalover, i am here by your request and i have read the whole thing. i noticed that the other two people have critiqued on you grammar and choice of ...

Is someone who loves you supposed to go and have sex with someone else? No? --- THE NO? SHOULDN'T BE HERE, IT MAKES THE SENTENCE SOUND ODD :D See I ...

Monkey Pulp!!!!!! i can't read this like this and it is probably why people have not been responding to it, you have to scroll for a minute to just get ...

An evening star glistening bright---------why would a star be showing at sunset, this throws off the poem time The sunset fades to blackest night Flowers close their delicate petals----- not ...

MOMENT Myarii smiled as the minute snake coiled itself around her fingers and blinked its big eyes at her. "He's so cute. What's his name?" SAID WHO, YOU HAVE SPECIFY ...

Words are mazes set in ink,---- good way to describe it! born without bearings, thrown in the paper clink.---- i think that clink is a weird word to put here ...

hello and welcome to YWS but the rules are that you need to do two reviews before you post anything that means you need to do read two other peoples ...

hi and welcome to YWS but before you post you should make two reviews first and try to keep it for every one post you do have two reviews :D ...