Published June 28, 2008
KaaaaaaaBOOM!
"Fireworks!" "YAY!"
BOOM!
BOOM!
FWISSSSsssshhhh.
"OOH!" "AAH!"
BAM!
bambam.
BOOOcccrrrackllle.
EEEEEEEEEeeeeePOOF!
BOOM!
BOOM!
FWISH!
FWISH!
RRRRRRRAAAA...
BAM!!!
sssssssssshhhhhhhhh.
"YAY!"
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Canary word: Present
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139,511 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
Thanks!
Um... wow? Kind of random but I loved it! GOLD STAR! You have some pure talent! It makes the reader happy and joyful!!! Yeee! And maybe a little hyper, too. You truly deserve a gold star... I hope to see more of your work.
KaaaaaaaBOOM!
"Fireworks!" "YAY!"
BOOM!
BOOM!
FWISSSSsssshhhh.
"OOH!" "AAH!"
BAM!
bambam.
BOOOcccrrrackllle.
EEEEEEEEEeeeeePOOF!
BOOM!
BOOM!
FWISH!
FWISH!
RRRRRRRAAAA...
BAM!!!
sssssssssshhhhhhhhh.
"YAY!"
all i have to say is wow, simply wow
further more i can't believe you spent 150 points on this, ah well i liked it though it was funny
well, brother, i put off reviewing this for a while because i wasn't sure what i would say.
but i think i got it down to the main points.
this was a fun, energetic piece. i too do not think it is much of a poem at all, but i already told you that in person.
i know that you wrote this aroud the same time that i wrote my anti-fireworks poem (after we saw that one show). and i can't help but wonder, did you steal my idea?
i asked you what rhymed with...i can't remeber what during the fireworks show and you asked me if a was thinking up a poem.
did that get you going? am i an inspiration? haha. i'm kidding.
this is a totally original piece--poem or not--and i can see that a lot of people enjoyed it.
nice work.
-GC10
HAHA I LOVED IT! I'm not sure if it's classified as poetry but it'll do.
It's definately on the creative side!
Keep Writing
Um...what the -blank- was that. It didn't seem to be anything more than just a bunch of noises. However it did get my attention, which might have been you're goal, I have no idea, but you might want to rethink your choice of placement.
um... good job with the onomonopiea (however you spell it) but maybe you should try adding actual words, and adding emotion to your poem. like, make a central message, not a bunch of noises. you can add the noises to your poem, just not to EVERY SINGLE word in the poem. Yea, thats all i have to say.
Congratulations. You made a list of onomatopoeia and posted it in the Poetry forum.
Is this your rebuttal to the anti-fireworks poem we had a few days ago? Well, I don't really fancy it too much, but I suppose you do have a talent for spelling noises. . . . .
Well, I hope this was supposed to be silly. It was a little funny. . .
Hey, it made me smile (and giggle).
That's all I got. Happy writing to ya!
XD wow this tottaly reminds me of the 4th of july.....sounds like you really love fireworks and the noises they make......but it can't really be taken seriously as a poem i mean i don't really know what the meaning of this was....and it looks like it was written by a two year old (sorry trying hard not to be mean) you could try harder to do so with this and improve it like a lot......cause right now it's like you were randomly typing dude
-Uo the lady in grey
This definitely is not written by a depressed person. Very cheerful and exciting. Brings to mind the 4th of July or New Years Eve (more so 7/4). Can't say that it had emotion or meaning, but it put a smile on my face. I always find it nice to try out new styles, and if this is your aim, good job
.
I'm not sure this is poetry...but that's ok.
Savvy?
I agree with Sketch. I think you should describe the fireworks a little. Not in great, poetic detail, because that's not the style of the piece...just maybe one or two words every other sentence..."Heat," "Light," "Colored rain," "Children smiles," "Joy"...You know? We can HEAR the fireworks, and that's fun, but I want to see them too.
~Sunny
all around awesome.like BBB said, ya can't critique it but this is definitly awesicknasticool. this kinda reminds of the noises a stomp band would make.sooooooooooooooooooo...................yea.coolio.
Ditto. =]
All the advice I have is to describe the fireworks. What do they look like? Do they give off a certain smell? You definitely have the noise down pact!
This is a very happy piece. I really like it. It's very different, unique and all around very nice. I can't really critique it because it's just noises... but hey... you gotta love it!
-Jared
Hehe. This made me giggle, which I hope was the point of the peice. If not, whoops. It can't really be taken seriously, can it?
Cheers,
--Medusa.
... No offense but...
What was that???
... I mean, that doesn't even seem to be classified as poetry to me, it's just the sound of fireworks launching, with the finishing touch being people going, "Yay!"
... This, methinks, should be in the "Other" category.
...
Although it did cheer me up.
(Very 4th of July-sy)