JohnLocke1

Your writing style was very entertaining and interesting to me. The only comments I have about this story, since I don't often review fan-fiction and therefore do not have the ...

This concept you have come up with is very interesting. I reminds me of The Most Dangerous Game, but it is slightly different and a bit more thrilling. You need ...

This is the first fan-fiction that I have read on this website. I'm not really sure how one can review fan-fiction, seeing as how it is a work for the ...

There were several grammatical mistakes in this piece, but I don't often touch on grammar in my reviews. However, I will bring some to your attention. Tenses: "She is in ...

Since you said to be thorough, I was very detailed. First, Grammar. "...we were walking through the park when the wind brew..." Brew? Did you perhaps mean brewed or blew? ...

This was a very attention grabbing piece, but I feel as though there was no reason for the undertaker to be there. He was described so little and had so ...

Once I began to read this, I had questions. I had no idea what time period this took place in. I realize that it is not in our world, but ...

I feel as though this piece was too fast and contained too little detail. Almost a third of your story was spent describing Leah. While description is necessary, you could ...

This poem was very short and to the point. I don't really enjoy when poets ramble on about nothing. It was also fairly chilling, which I enjoy in poems. I ...

Very well written! I liked how your description left enough information up to the reader. However, it does need to be extended. I want to get to know all of ...

This was a very confusing story. I wasn't sure what was happening, when it was happening or where it was happening. I really suggest your clear those up so that ...

Can I just say that this piece reminded me a lot of Catcher in the Rye, if you've ever read it. I despised Catcher in the Rye. I hated it ...

Your beginning paragraphs were extremely beautiful and poetic. I felt the memories and reflections that were passing through Cassie's mind as she thought back on her life. I agree with ...

Is the pace of this chapter okay? Personally, I felt as though it could have been longer, but the pace was not something that hindered my reading at all. It ...

I enjoy Shakespeare, romance and super powered twins, so I think I am going to enjoy this story. The beginning was what made me want to continue reading. Whenever a ...