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Jetpack

  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: We Are Family~ The Apocolypse Ch. 1

    Hey, Panda, and welcome to YWS! So, I agree with Hawk that some of this could be clearer. I was confused as to how many characters were present, and we ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: Endangered Species

    Hey, Alpha. As you have a brilliant content-based review above, I think I'll spend most of this review nitpicking and checking this for typos. I think it's a lot easier ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Scarlet Rain 1.2

    Hey, EloquentDragon. I love your username, by the way. Anyway, on with the review. I'm slightly confused as to what this is. You mention that these are the first paragraphs ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: deleted

    Hey, f4wir. I'm Jet. I've read the first chapter of this that you've posted, and I notice immediately that you've switched the perspective from Dakota to a pack. Perhaps you ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Infamous ch2 part 1

    Hey, Wheadee, here to review Chapter 2! Or at least this part of it. Spork's done a good job of nitpicking above, so I won't go through and do the ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Try To Escape Chapter 3

    Back to review Chapter 3, TT. I have much the same points to make as last time, but I won't spend too long going over ground that I covered in ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Try To Escape Chapter 2

    Hey, TT. If you try to post your work one chapter at a time, you'll get far more reviews than you have done here. Plus, the more you review, the ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Infamous end of ch1

    Hey, Wheadee. I'll give a quick general review as your grammar and punctuation is generally fine. Could I suggest you make a novel page for this? It's so much easier ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General Re: The Future's Not So Far Away

    Hi, Nike. So I read your spoiler and saw that this was based on Phil of the Future , which I loved a few years back, so I decided to ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Stop and Stare (Part 5)

    Here to review Part Five. Having something that was so complicated worrying me was a lot more painful than being unable to tie some stupid knot. This is really awkward. ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Script » General, General Re: Actors (scenes 1-10)

    Hey. I know you've already cut this down, and it actually reads very smoothly - and is engrossing - when you get past the first scene, but unfortunately I think ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: On a clear winter night.

    Hey, here as I said, to review. I love the atmosphere of this piece, but I wish it were a little longer. I'll nitpick first, as per usual. It reminds ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Lie To Me~1

    So, this is my first review of Reviewing Sunday! Forgive any odd phrases here; it's late where I am. There are a fair few typos here, and grammar mistakes, which ...

    Jan 30, 2011
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General Re: Trapped on Orpheus V

    Hey, Colditz, and welcome to YWS! I'm intrigued by your signature. Are you a fan of Hitchhiker's ? Hope so, because it's a great influence to have. However, this reminded ...

    Jan 29, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Unbound~Prologue

    Okay, you've said you think this is relevent, so I'll take you at your word and leave the prologue bashing for now. I'm not a particularly character-centric reviewer, but I'll ...

    Jan 29, 2011


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