Jerikas

This would be really good in one of those anti-bullying magazine things. It's interesting and there were no typo that I noticed but it did seem bit unbelieveable, the parents ...

This seems good. You need to space out your paragraphs a bit more and they don't interlink with each other very well either, I kept losing track at certain points. ...

This is good, especially for a first chapter. You set the scene well and create an interest that makes the reader want to continue. Your character dovelopement for the main ...

This seems good and I'll be interested to see where it leads. Ok problems, there were a few typos that I noticed which are easy to change. You should put ...

The end was not what I expected but the accident was a bit cliched. If you change the accident to something different like him just coming back or something more ...

It was very fast moving and the charater seemed very calm for someone who thought they were going to die in the next few minutes. I think if you added ...

The plot is good but you don't give much desciption of the scene, why are they there? Where are they? and so on and so forth. Also the beginning is ...

This seems like two cliches stuck together which is a bit wierd but I think it makes it interesting and fairly origional. Some of your writing appears a bit conversational ...

I really like this story and the title is great too. I can't really see anyway you could improve other than what some of the other people have said so ...

It's a wall of words and almost impossible to read. Ever heard of paragraphing? Also when you write speech, new line for each person saying something. This all seemed a ...

Vertually the same as emotion less, its just a wall of words and so it's almost impossible to read. You need to look at you paragraphing and how to write ...

This is cool, it leaves you thinking. A few points though; You say 'smiling sadly at her image in the dirty puddle' then say 'headed down a dry stream. ' ...

This builds up the suspence really well, you make it hard to guess what will happen next but you do keep the reader trying to guess. There were just a ...

I like this, it shows sibling affection as well as the conflicts of a youngish family. I couldn't see any typos either. The only things i noticed was that you ...

what is the point is writing without using the correct language, it just makes it harder to read. Also you seem to write in as if you are having a ...