Jenthura

Well, it's a fairly nice ramble of descriptive prose, but I think you should Google 'purple prose' and read a Wikipedia article on it. What I mean to say is ...

Well, well, quite a funny story. Just what is the meaning of it though? At first I thought it was a comical story, but somehow the ending intrigued me and ...

This poem stuck out to me because the phrase 'filial piety' happens to be part of a quote from one of my favorite films. All that really links to the ...

I liked what you wrote for the quickness of it, but what was with all the stuttering? It really slowed the pace down a few notches. I thought quite a ...

Z, the nitpicks seem to be gone by now, but there's something I wanted to point out. Dialogue. That means speech, talking, any sort of noise from the characters to ...

Hmmm, not too impressed. There doesn't seem to be very much of a purpose to the story; it's more of a rambling narrtion. The bgeinning was what gave me the ...

God decided to give him seven gifts, seven blessings to guide the king: Knowledge, to lead humanity trough the path of light; Fate, to never look back; Luck, to never ...

It's a cute story alright, and I must admit that there were very few typographical errors. However, it got a bit confusing...lemme show you what I mean. You growled at ...

I'm late as well, and I couldn't find anything! It was perfect (as far as I could see) except for this part (which Snoink already got) ...thought that wouldn’t do ...

So, first off, Welcome to YWS! :D Alright, the shifting POV's was a little confusing, especially since you didn't introduce any of the characters to the reader. Next time, go ...

Hmm, If you ever need help on the Thai side of things, I can certainly help! For one thing, you cannot simply report a drug ring leader to the police ...

You only mention Lily's name thrice in this whole story; a number that, for the size of the work, is too small. I know having the same word, even a ...

Wow, scary, dude. O.O Anyways, that aside, I was quite annoyed at having to read the large block of text in the middle. I kept losing my line and reading ...

Dudette got the nitpicks, so i'll just say one thing: the beginning is too slow. You have to go through every single motion she makes, every action, every thought. And ...

Hey, Ninja, here's a tip on how to italicize things here on the site: use the BBcode 'on' and 'off' switches. The 'on' switch is [ i ] without the ...