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Re: Worst Book You've Ever Read
The Vampire Diaries by L.J. Smith It's not that its written poorly, just that there are inconsistencies and the fact that the characters assume so much (at least in the ...
Apr 5, 2009 -
Re: Untitled
This isn't so much a critique as an understanding post I guess... Personally I have found that I love a lot of the poetry on here, this one included. Depression ...
Apr 5, 2009 -
Re: “Full stop”
Cool (period) It took me a minute to catch on, but when I did I was like, "Ahhhh--clever." Then I kept reading and: A drink? Perhaps a colon: a list ...
Apr 5, 2009 -
Re: I Will Always Be Your Friend.
Yay--Very good...Mind you, as I've written before, I know little about the rules of poetry myself, but the story is awesome and one that I have personal experience with. Hit ...
Apr 5, 2009 - Re: Past the Horizon Apr 5, 2009
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Re: Fear - Title Pending
Great work. But these are the two problems I had with it: It may come to be that you believe the image to be gone – it may not appear ...
Apr 4, 2009 -
Re: Dancer
Granted I've only written two poems in my life and they were forced by the man , a.k.a. the education system . Though... I liked it. It had a very ...
Apr 4, 2009 -
Re: Removed #7
Awesome story! A husky man appeared and embraced her. I get what you mean by "husky" and have no problems with it, but if you would like some other adjectives ...
Apr 4, 2009 -
Re: Butterfly Wings
Ouch--their situation sucked tragically, however, AWSOME writing. (I know all caps are "teh bad", but it was a requirement.) Everyone's been so detailed with the critiques that really all I ...
Apr 2, 2009 -
Re: Sunset~chapter 2
After reading this one the most consistent mistake that I can find is how you shift tense mid sentence and paragraph. It's probably just a language issue and I'm sure ...
Apr 2, 2009 -
Re: Am i fine in my suffering?
I'll never be happy but maybe I shouldn't be maybe i was born for this pain, and this jealousy to suffer in silence is my destiny My opinion on those ...
Apr 2, 2009 -
Re: Sunset~chapter 1
Hajimemashite. Jimi- Howaito desu. And that would be about as much Nihongo as I remember from college. I apologize if it was done...poorly. Either way lets get on to the ...
Apr 1, 2009
