JFW1415

Its fine that its going to be short, but just make sure you know what your talking about (ie: where it is and when) before starting. This will alter your ...

I'll continue critiquing, just let me know when you get new ones up. :P Also, if it is captive/captor love, make sure it is VERY slow. That can go wrong ...

Hey, just a quick side note. When I look at a story, I first check to see how many reviews it has. If it has a bunch, I won't edit ...

Azila: Thanks for the review! I'll try not to give up... :P Urgh, I keep doing that pronoun thing. I'm fixing it in my other story, I'll try to here, ...

All right; good luck with that. :P I like the age you chose. It does show in certain parts, but it should be clearer. If a character's age isn't clear, ...

Thanks for the reviews! Yeah, I forgot the word 'sit.' :oops: I have a few other things I'm also going to edit, and I'll post the revised one later. :P

I've tried editing the last line; is it any better?

Thanks for the reviews! :P Lakegirls: I'll check over the other things you said, but these are just 100 short drabble type things about her for some challenge. I just ...

Thanks for the review! Yeah, I wasn't completely sure about the ending...I'll ponder on that for a bit. :P If anyone has any suggestions about the last paragraph, I'll gratefully ...

I'm getting a little desperate here; it's due on Thursday and I know that it needs some work, but I don't know what else to edit it in! Help! :shock:

Thanks for the critique, kitty15! I changed a few small things in the story, and reposted it above. I am also debating whether or not to make this into a ...

Wow! I loved it! Just read it through and fix all the grammar mistakes, and it will be awesome. ~JFW1415

Alright, I'm doing some research now. They gave us about three days to write this in school, which is why I didn't do much research. (I can't believe I'm researching-it's ...