JFW1415

The promised critique! Sorry it's a bit late. alone yet surrounded by hundreds I'm sure you've had this feeling before – I'm pretty sure everyone has. When you're standing in ...

I did enjoy this story. It had a good turning point and a different set of characters, and I think you can use that to your advantage to draw your ...

shoving everything together I really don't think you should tell us the story through a phone call. It kind of… it killed the piece. It's like, ramble on and on ...

The promised critique! Before I begin, I'd just like to point out one line that I had a problem with… “Everyone’s different. Married?” he replies. If you read it out ...

The promised critique! set up relationships Right now, I'm confused. What do these people mean to one another? True, you don't have many characters yet, but what about the ones ...

The promised critique! Well, my first concern is that you don't really know what a prologue is. Actually, most of the people who have critiqued this don't. Prologues aren't supposed ...

The promised critique! Once again, I'm ignoring grammar/spelling. But I will leave you a link on dialogue punctuation – read it, learn it, love it . *In Sing-Song-y Voice* Yoooouuuu ...

The promised critique! Well, just so you know, I totally ignored both grammar and spelling in this critique. Why? Well, I'm lazy, that's for sure, but mainly I've just been ...

The promised critique! Well, I know you only wanted me to critique the second chapter, but I just wanted to touch upon this lightly before going there. Plus it's late, ...

The promised critique! A Quick Nit-Pick “I know…but eventually they’ll love us.” I'd like to see more of a hesitation here. It's also a great opportunity to break the repeating ...

The promised critique! To Follow a Trend I don't know why, but recently it seems all of YWS has been starting their pieces with a one sentence paragraph. It's supposed ...

The promised critique. Nit-Picks but he’d always been to o busy to talk to either of them much outside of Counsel. And he[s]r[/s] should be able to provide well, being ...

Hey Jiggster! Well, I'm really glad you asked for this critique. I actually owe you one from a while ago, but I kinda left YWS for a while and then ...

Hey! :) Nit-Picks The bamboo called to him and it wasn’t long before he let his lips touch the sweet flute; then he began to play a tune of his ...

The promised critique: Nit-Picks When I was in high school, I had a friend named Linda. I always used to imagine what it’d be like if Linda wound up with ...