JFW1415

Interesting, but I do think you should expand this to become a poem. You obviously have many deep thoughts, so add some more. Add examples. Whatever you want. This could ...

All right, here's my promised review. It's REALLY long - don't say I didn't warn you! (You DID ask!) First is your piece, which have some highlighted areas with numbers ...

I'm guilty of two things: skimming the beginning and reading the comments first. :oops: The writing was excellent. I could easily see her warped sense of the world, and not ...

Wow...I really don't know what to say to this. I'm just so sorry; no one should EVER have to go through stuff like that. I always figured you were some ...

They are the only ones in their families who can perform spells, alone. What's the alone for? they always have at least one relative from either parent that's been magical. ...

First, I do not critique poetry. I do not enjoy poetry. However, this was on the front page and I read it there, and I just have to make one ...

First off, always listen to Stella. She's amazing. ;P I'm just going to add my two cents in, since she caught all the technical stuff. In a story, you want ...

Like someone else suggested, simply edit this in the original posting. If you want to be able to tell the difference between the critiques, simply do what I do; post ...

Hello! Once again, I'm not going to bother with grammar; I'll leave that to someone with more time. A few basic questions you should clarify: Where is she? Who is ...

I'm a little confused. The first post said revised, then you said the latest one was...oh, well, I'll just give a quick comment. I promised I would review chapter two ...

A critique, as promised. Nit-picks first. "Jase!" I screamed between splutters[s],[/s] as the thick, pungent smoke slowly smothered my breath . [s],[/s] "Where are-[s].[/s]" Grammar. eat away at the n

I'm not going to go into grammar and everything, because if you stay away from this for a day or so and then check it out with fresh eyes you'll ...

There aren't enough mistakes for me to do one of my extremely long reviews, so I'm just going to give you an overall and tell you to capitalize the I ...

I loved the first one, but I read it some time ago. Then I heard about the second one, and I realized I forgot nearly everything that had happened in ...

Very interesting. However, I suggest that you expand this a bit. You TELL us nearly everything; a big no-no. :P Show us instead. Don't have her suddenly freak out; give ...