JC

There are places, in which you should never find yourself. On the windowpane of a skyscraper. Preferably the highest story. There are things, which you should never do. Play around ...

“So…why’d you pick this place?” he said I believe he asked this. It's kinda hard to say a question. =D She laughed and motioned to the folded waitress’s uniform in ...

With the boys in the 'hood ['] ? :arrow: Yeah, this did seem a lot like poetry to me, but I'm no poetry there's not much I can say about ...

“I do love Rob you know [,] ” He pulls away, sitting up on the side of the bed. He shifts his weight across my body until he his lying ...

“Complicated” by Avril Lavinge oh dear… is my initial thought. It might be better to put a period or a comma after Avril Lavinge. “ Thanks,” I take a sip; ...

Saturday Morning, Dear Diary, This one didn't have the same bold and stuff as the others ones. That and it was right below the previous paragraph. Just a little aberration ...

or I could so totally faint. Totally...it's the word that makes people sound more like bubbleheads than life hating, sarcastic people. But hey, that might just be me. This is ...

But really ,was it was her who was in... typo error thing, just thought I would point it out for yah =D You reallyl like the name Chris don't you??? ...

Another section to love, though it ended quite abruptly (I love the last line by the way). The first paraghraph could be broken up into smaller sections. But I still ...

Then I shot up in bed realizing I was no longer in Syradrum. The bed was my own, covered in pale yellow sheets and surrounded by white washed furniture. Try ...

Well, there were no errors that I could find, so that's a good things right there. Also I love the characters you introduce,they seem so real. It's like, you've created ...

:!: = random point or observation :?: = Either don't understand, or a question :idea: = Suggestions :arrow: = comments, more random points :D = Just for fun! Let me ...

I think she thinks he’s dead. I think, she thinks. It sounds awkward...for example... I think that you think that this is a good way to make the reader think ...

Completely honestly I'm confused. Who died? When? That kind-of thing could be clearer. But other than that I couldn't find any flaws in your writing. Your use of words was ...

"Jess!!Stop!" But I couldn't stop, not even for my friend. I needed revenge. You don't need two exclamation points after Jess, one does the job just fine. Any more and ...