Published April 17, 2007
Taken down due to publishing
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141,249 Literary Works • 674,329 Reviews
Hey Meevs.
It says that you won't be posting anymore, but I just seen 32 so I'll assume that didn't work out. 
I think this one's been pointed out, but:
I was as think as a twig anyway,
*thin
I was scared of loosing my hair in my mid-thirties.
I notice a lot of people doing this so it might be a nationality thing, but should that be losing?
I was jealous that she was getting more looks from me.
That confused me a bit after the bit before it. But I don't know lol.
Alan floppy chin his laughing friends.
Maybe and his laughing friends?
something that collects all the dirt between your teeth, and you keep chewing it?
...and I never considered that lol.
Its like a giant mating stadium or something.
*It's
Yay for the big long chapter, longer than most I've read, I think. It was really good. And now I have disturbing images of stadiums in my head...
Good luck on the publishing thing. This piece was awesome, as usual. Though i think when you have Jamiy explain the whole dance thing, i think that you should also describe where Sappy is and what she is doing.
Yeah, uber awesomeness. I'm sure everybody will love it! But I wish I could continue reading it...*tears*
Good Luck!!!!!
-JC
Damn! I was looking forward to the next part
But on a brighter note. Good luck with getting it published.
Just so you all know, My Creative Writing teacher loved this and she is going to send it off to publishers! *gets nervous* So I won't be posting it anymore
But i have already started like the next part, It's called Cupcakes and I have finished the first part soi look out for that!
Meevs
x
Another section to love, though it ended quite abruptly (I love the last line by the way).
The first paraghraph could be broken up into smaller sections. But I still love it just the way it is! As always =D
lemme know when you post the next part kk?? =D
-JC
I like the detail with the toenails, intriguing yet horrible at the same time!
Couple of grammatical errors:
*Thin
*from should be than.
Great stuff, I'm still captivated!
And I still hate Chris!
Alainna
xxxxxxx