JC

Well thanks to magicman I now have a place for my proses. So heres the first offical prose! Its kinda random though :D If I could turn back time, you ...

Okay! Hi...I had some problems with this... First, comma's are you're friend. I see none. Second, this isn't fiction, it's poetry, with poetic prose at the end. It was too ...

The band were playing under him, Were should be was. I can’t dance properly in heels. This just seems a little weird to me, because the rest of the piece ...

“Ok dad, “ Capatalize Dad. Other than that it's good. Although, it didn't jump out at me as particularly amazing. Not saying the writing was bad, it was good writing, ...

Rosala= Rosalie.... Anyways, I'm a bit obsessed with these books, as I'm counting down the day's until Eclispe...I pre-ordered it today! Yay! Fans should go to stephenie mayers has all ...

The slick mud sticks against the side of my cheek, making a sucking noise when I try to move period “Ick,” I say to myself, placing my hands palm down ...

As a grand, OCD doctor on scrubs once said.... "And deeply disturbing." Yeah, wow. Just two small things... “Let me go…!” I muttered hopelessly. It's rather hard to mutter and ...

It was good, I couldn't find any mistakes. It kept me intrested, though I would love to know more about the characters...small history, things like that. you have any paragraphs ...

MY COMMENTS ARE IN RED!!!!! Now this is a romantic story, but you'll have to give it time, ok? And I just started rewriting it, so...there isn't much. And keep ...

Hey! I've realized that you don't really have anybody actually critiquing this. So I figured, why not eh? lol. *goes back to read* Chapters: Prolouge - Five Prolouge It seems ...

rolling it up and down and doodlling on a piece of paper she had ripped out of her diary. You can improve the flow of this by replacing the 'and' ...

"Evie," she said just as quietly. Just as quietly as what? You don't mention volume at any point before hand, so scratch it here. Jackie, a scrawny little girl that ...

The dog came towards her then stopped. She steadied her gun, the dog barked and growled while wagging its tail. She ran back to her black horse and rode off. ...

Ew...a little weird. I have one question though...you said she's sixteen, and her mother is thirteen? Step-mom or something? You might want to say that. Other than that, this was ...

Morning fled into the room and Jamie rose with the sun. She dragged herself downstairs following the scent of pancakes. As she plopped herself down at the kitchen bar, her ...