Industrio

This is a little cliched in some parts, but one line that I like a lot in particular is "Faster than their lies." This is a powerful line, suggesting that ...

Thoughts blooming like a lotus; (Alliteration. Some people hate it. I LOVE it. Bravo! :) ) Full of compassion and beauty, (This is a little dull. Compassion and beauty are ...

"I'm just so tired of roaming the world and building castles in the dusk. My brain feels like a senseless ruin, a shack, an ivory landscape. Nothing makes any sense. ...

You bring up some good, valid points. (I understand as I used to be a witch.) However, this is, overall, a weak poem. Too many weak words and phrases. Easy ...

I love this poem, except for the ONE thing: "In my rusty shed, was a thing of rope. It asked for a hug. So I let it hug my neck. ...

"I was constrained Uncomfortable in my own skin You were the kind to glorify sin You ran in brilliant shades of confidence" Already, I am captivated by your command of ...

Yikes, that is a sad ending. This could be SO much more powerful. For instance: Change "kids on bike and having fun" To something like: "children racing 'round on bikes" ...

I like the ideas you presented, however it is a little generic in description. "reflects off the sea", "illuminates the snow". Reflects and illuminates could both be switched while still ...

"The pink and yellow splash together, As puffy white clouds float lazily by like a feather." Chi, this is an awesome poem. I didn't know you wrote, really, until you ...