Incandescence

Worgs, There's a wonderful sentiment behind this, and I think we've all shared it at some point. The problem is that the poem as it stands is simply far too ...

Hi Worgs, I do not know where this has been successful, other than perhaps in sympathetic circles. For this reader, however, it is awful. It's a self-absorbed, privately coded tour ...

Sureal, I feel like I've seen this poem, with its lists of small events and items, and its trigger to a flashback, hundreds of times before. I expect I'll see ...

Worgs, The piece seems intent on plowing the same patch of ground until the reader "gets it." This didactic approach and the shift from "he" to "you" runs counter to ...

Lexy, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Ani, Same to you. xanthan_gum, I understand that it is confusing, but I do not know that I agree with "unclear." To brush one's ...

Jiggity, I see a dignified attempt to create something. What?--I'm not certain it's complete, but at present it's an idea that has been rehashed a few times too many to ...

Misty, This poem is overrun with grammatical havoc. The idea is laudable, but I don't feel like the means were correctly executed. In fact, it was so poorly delivered, I'm ...

Welcome Worgs, We always enjoy a new read. The only above comment worth saving is backgroundbob's. This is too politically motivated for me to empathize with you. Subtlety is the ...

Hi xanthan_gum, This fails to please the way your last poems have. I feel that you rely too heavily and directly on the "countdown effect" at the end of this ...

My only issue with Steinbeck is that he underestimates the reader's ability. Everything is spelled out, and there is really nothing left for you to think about. Even that pesky ...

Hi Jack, I'm glad you're still writing poetry. This, for me, redoubles into itself. The notion of being One is brought up either too much for this, or else this ...

Hi Gyrfalcon, This requires a great amount of trimming. You have excesses of words that obscure the meaning of the piece. I do not mean to jostle the rhyme scheme, ...

Hi BohemeMistress, Worry not--this is not as bad as the last piece I reviewed. That being said, you need to work on your ability to consult the thesaurus and the ...

Hi timjim77, I am glad to see you around again. The same can not be said for this piece. It seems to me an excuse for a string of Poetickal ...

SlickJimmy, "Is it poetry?" That was the question asked when Whitman published his Leaves of Grass . Many of the poems written by Fernando Pessoa would seem prose if one ...