Published October 9, 2006
My Blue Crayon committed suicide
An ocean away from lonliness,
I share in the plight of failure;
I use my blue crayon to speak of solitude.
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138,327 Literary Works • 672,102 Reviews
Hey!!
RandomTalks here to leave a quick review!
This was such a short and simple poem. It was so abstract, and I feel like it can mean different things to different people. That is the best thing about poetry - the different interpretations that tell you so much about a person.
Blue is usually associated with depth and calm. I personally, think that the color blue is pure, clean and quiet. That is how I see it, and that is what I take out of your poem. But the depth of emotion that is conveyed through these short lines is universal I suppose. Everyone can feel that.
Good job on the poem, and even though you are probably never going to read this, I wish you all the best in life!
why blue??? Isn't the pink one more popular??? Wouldn't the pink one commit suicide first..... ? surely it being in the limelight would have lowered its life expectancy???
lol,good stuff x
I really liked this, i thought it was short and sweet!
I feel like it really conveyed an emotion, i can't really say which, but i felt it!
i thought it was very well done, and (aside from 'Lonliness') i think it's good the way it is.
Do you have a favorite crayon?
Tell me about it.
I posted this as a writing activity. You can even use the color blue and try to do me one better!
viewtopic.php?t=10636&highlight=[/url]
I liked the poem. Thought it was kind of cute. I personally enjoy short poems like that and I love crayons.
Only I do believe "lonliness" is spelt "loneliness" but one can forget these things when falling into creative bliss.
Slickjimmy,
Recursive comments should lead you to assume you have not improved.
Best,
Brad
HEY!
You just copied and pasted your last critique of my stuff.
Is there such a thing as to plagiarize yourself?
SlickJimmy,
"Is it poetry?" That was the question asked when Whitman published his Leaves of Grass. Many of the poems written by Fernando Pessoa would seem prose if one would lose the line divisions. Yet, both made a remarkable contribution to modern poetry, which is today more loosely defined than in previous centuries. Every approach should be valid (I am all for experimentation) as long as the device invokes a response consistent with all the multiplicity of nuances that are found in poetry.
However, this does none of those things. It would behoove you to drop adolescent navel-gazing (and this poem) and pick up something more suitable, such as "Highlights for Children."
All the best,
Brad