Hippie

The rhyming thing didn't work for me. It distracts from the story, and I found myself skimming a bit because the sentences and paragraphs weren't dynamic enough, so there was ...

You did a terrific job of capturing the emotion and innocence of the boy. Him talking to the plants was great for invoking this. The setting was also magnificently described, ...

It's not the style I usually critique, so I won't bother you with showing and not telling, because that doesn't really apply to fairy tales. Instead I'm going to focus ...

This piece was very good, even though it breaks a lot of the rules I don't like broken. The MC speaks directly to the audience. She tells us a lot, ...

Soon however, the team realise their new career is not all fun and games. Finding themselves between a rock and an asteroid field, they attempt to bring justice to lawbreakers ...

Ah, I remember a certain hunting scene of mine you critiqued last year. It sounds like you really know your stuff. There's an air of confidence to this piece which ...

Happy reviewing Sunday :D I'm afraid this piece has fallen into a major cliche pit, and also has some pacing and credibility issues. These will need to be worked out ...

You are the lucky recipient of my 100th review. On with it then. To his delight, he tore a piece of it's wing membrane off in his teeth. The bat ...

I see you're going for a suspenseful beggining. The premise is good, but it comes unstuck in a number of ways. Firstly, breaking the fourth wall. If you don't know, ...

I'm afraid I have to disagree with Nick. The previous chapters were fantastic, but I found this one seemed rushed and distant, and with some inconsistencies. “I-“ But, I soon ...

Classy, I'm loving this story more and more. Your characters are really blossoming. Only one major prose issue stood out to me. When Joe says "We need to go find ...

This was by far the best part yet. It was good to see some internal monologue. It goes a long way for character development. The prose was also very easy ...

Hi Classy. Thought I'd drop by since you took the time to do me a review yesterday. I found the descriptions of what the surroundings looked like good, and they ...

The descriptions in this were wonderful. It's great that you use all the senses, instead of just sight which is often overused. I don't exactly know what the plot is. ...

Sorry, but I actually found this a bit confusing. Fortunately it's an easy diagnosis. You've introduced too many characters in too short a space of time. As a result when ...