-
Re: empty soul, empty mind
It's very vague which leaves it open to interpretation. One could simply take it as a shy person, a person with anxiety disorder, or something much deeper. Other than that, ...
Jan 10, 2018 -
Re: Ecliptic (WIP Need feedback, really short)
The Astral realm confused me a bit, but after a few times reading through some lines, I think I've got it. I'm just stupid, so..that's probably why I didn't get ...
Jan 10, 2018 -
Re: Murderer: Nailed It
I read this, and..please write more ;-;. This was amazing! Still, perhaps a reason would have made it a bit more interesting? If he was just psychotic, maybe it would ...
Jan 10, 2018 -
Re: The Day the Music Died
The only thing wrong, in my opinion, is how this line sounds: 'That never seems to deter me from trying each time from trying.' It's a bit awkward since you ...
Jan 10, 2018 -
Re: Time
This poem is very straightforward. Still, it's thought-provoking! Something I like is the parts about how different times can drive one insane. I feel that people know what time is, ...
Jan 10, 2018 -
Re: Rico's Adventures: Rico and the Magic Ring
This short story is amazing! The plot and concept can branch off into other related stories. One thing I would point out is your grammar. You tend to mix up ...
Jan 10, 2018 -
Re: Insane
...This. Is. AMAZING! The second person style is amazing and the psychological thriller aspect of it makes me shiver. The voices are usually cliché, but you played them off perfectly. ...
Jan 10, 2018 -
Re: The Hartmans - Chapter One
This story is INCREDIBLE. The abilities of the brothers came out of nowhere. I was a bit confused about that, but context will probably come in later chapters. Please keeps ...
Jan 9, 2018 -
Re: Those Words...
This is beautiful. Exploring the two possible outcomes that this phrase can cause, this poem makes me think of all sorts of scenarios! The idea that such a simple, short ...
Jan 9, 2018 -
Re: The Seasons Of Her Pain
This is beautiful. It appears to tell the story of a depressed girl. I cannot tell if she is depressed due to life circumstances and stress or if she has ...
Jan 9, 2018 -
Re: [Insert Title Here] - Part 1
I just read this and I cannot wait until you add another part. I'm curious about what the letter says! One particular thing that could be improved is the description ...
Jan 9, 2018 -
Re: How to Kill What Can't Grow - CH2
I absolutely love your writing style! While I can't offer much help since I am not exactly good at writing, I'd just suggest that you add a bit more imagery? ...
Jan 9, 2018