Gwenevire

Hey, I am done Yay! I hope my crit is helpful XD Mommy,” the child whimpered, knowing his mother was dead. The black demon had cut into his mother with ...

Yay. I finished reading and reviewing it. Now all I have to do is type it up >.> “Ack!” Yazra cried in frustration, People don't generally say "Ack!" Maybe you ...

That was so beautiful! It was just so perfect! So descriptive and in line, nothing seemed rushed or packed in... It was really good! I have nothing to say but ...

Ah! I love this! Its so creative, random and Edward scissor hand style :P Nice work! I only have one suggestion I bet none of them have no butterknife because ...

Hello! The area is so hushed, one can almost hear them, plopping down gently onto beds of moss. Plopping might not be the best word to portray the snowflakes landing. ...

Hello! watching the leaden water flowing beneath him like liquid steel – swirling, heaving, breathing as it coursed against the struts of the bridge. Leaden water... Well it doesn't really ...

This kinda seems as if you did this with it... Its not really poetic and it is all chopped up... I like the idea maybe it could be some sort ...

I like this. Its very interesting it makes me think of a lot of things. (thats a good thing :wink:) I think you should add more texture to it. Right ...

Hello, I agree with Via, kinda like lyrics. I have one suggestion though: Only some for who you truly care As soon as they come, they vanish into air Maybe ...

I take in your scent and how your arms feel This bit sounds kinda out... It rhymes with the next line but it just seems to go on a little ...

Hey Morgan this is Vivi. Well personally this is kinda bland. Absolutely no description and we don't feel for the character. You have to capitalize your "I"s. It need a ...

This is interesting. You have simple and easy to follow descriptions and I like how you have developed the characters. My only suggestion would be to make the paragraphs bigger. ...

That was a very nice peace of work. It had a lot of emotion in it. But I would think you should put it in the poem section. It doesn't ...

I really like this. I like the words you have used to describe everything. It draws me in, it seems kind of clean and welcoming. I think it might have ...

Good work I am not going to quote anything. But I seem to be missing out on my usually dose of description from you. I know that others say its ...