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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
I was totally waiting for some sadistic second chapter where he grows up and becomes a cutter or something. Or maybe stabs those mean kids in his school.
I'm a horrible person.
Anyway, this was cute...in a very weird way. You totally made the misspellings work.
LOL!
utter brilliance
It was a four year old/MyteriousIncidentOfTheDogInTheNightTime-esque
xxx
Er... yes. I'm going through your Oddities in your portfolio, because they are just too good.
I disagree with Snoink. I love this story, because it's so... innocent, I guess. Have you ever read the books, "Junie B. Jones"? She has spelling mistakes in there too, because a child seemingly wrote it. That's what people don't seem to understand.
I like this. I was tempted, earlier today, to write a romance between a child and a pile of dirt. It didn't work. But this is exactly the sort of thing that I would love to write. And read, too. It's so perfect.
I wish I could find a fault... let me check.
My mouse if making me mad... it keeps sticking. Anyway, this isn't a fault, rather than a OMGILOVETHISPART. It's so perfect! A child would certainly do something like this. Heck, I used to do this.
Keep 'em coming.
-Jared
Really? You're telling me parents wouldn't give a small child an object they could hurt themselves with? You're saying a kid couldn't go to school with a knife and not have every cop in the police department swarm the building? You're saying a kid's parents wouldn't let their child play fetch with their dog with a butterknife?
No. Way. XD
Jenna: Yeah, they're intentional, though I wasn't going to have them at first, which may explain why Snoink thinks they're sucky.
Thanks guys!
Prok
Meh.
1) Your misspellings suck. I don't care whether this is written in the view of a four-year-old--not many parents would give a four-year-old a butter knife in the first place.
2) Just for more confirmation, read this: http://www.cyc-net.org/cyc-online/cycol ... onnor.html
3) Above is a funny story. Here are some rather unfunny stories, with the narrators being fairly young: http://www.ralphmag.org/spacepoemsI.html
4) Also, you need to read a bunch Calvin and Hobbes comics. Those are funny and present childhood in a lovely, fairly true way. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go here: http://progressiveboink.com/archive/calvinhobbes.htm
5) This should show you that skillful writers use different word choice and word play to make their children characters become alive. They don't have to deliberately misspell things or make things sound stupid, "because that's what children do." They simply took aspects from their childhood and used it to their advantage and created a childhood that was real.
6) Completely random, pointless works are rarely interesting except for the, "Look at how silly I can make something!" factor. Which is akin to navel-gazing. Stop it.
Hope that helps...
This was interesting, but at the end I was left with a definite sense of, "Okay... so what?" Maybe I just have no sense of humor. xP
This should be: The knife fell in my lap and my eyes got big and I said, "Oh my goodness."
The list of reasons is funny, but I think it's too much of a contrast. You could keep it, but change the format so it isn't in list form. If you don't want to do that, though, you could double space the paragraphs and it would look nicer.
This made me laugh.
This should be: I love the stories but sometimes butterknife says he hates them and gets mad but I calm him down and tell him, "Don't intruppt."
The further along into this, the more intentional spelling errors there are. Is that on purpose? I like them, by the way. They're very cute, and do make it sound like a preschooler is dictating.
Out of curiosity, what inspired this?
Haha, thanks guys.
Alice: "it sounded like a four year old wrote it" -- that was intentional; glad that came across. ^_^
Gwenevire: The spelling and grammar errors were intentional: the writer is supposed to be young. =) And no, I'm not 73. XD
Thanks again!
Prokaryote
Ah!
I love this! Its so creative, random and Edward scissor hand style
Nice work!
I only have one suggestion
It should be like this:
I bet none of them have a butterknife, because they are too poor or their parents don't love them.
There where a few spelling mistakes. They are simple just read it over and you will find them!
Good job,
Genevieve
PS
Your 73 years old? I mean there is nothing wrong with that if you are but... aren't you a bit old for the site?
*Giggles* silly prok this was one of the most pointless peices of work I've ever seen.
But it made me giggle and I liked it. It sounded like a four year old wrote it.
I'm going to start carrying around a butter knife from one of my tea-sets.