GryphonFledgling

This was good. I liked the dialogue. Two comments: 10 years in senior was not that great of a hindrance in the time period you are suggesting. (what is the ...

This was really pretty. I am most certainly not an expert on poetry (I dabble at the most) so I can't give you a critique, but I can say that ...

I like it so far. You have talent. I'm not sure what you are talking about with the italics, since I don't see any. Is it the special text that ...

"she Bo guards her way" - I'm assuming that 'Bo' is the name of the girl. I would put something around her name to seperate it = "she, Bo, ..." ...

:shock: This was beautiful. I'm not much of a poetry critic, so I can't give you any critique, but this was just gorgeous. You have great talent. I applaud you! ...

This was definitely heartwrenching to read. You are able to pull emotion out of a hat and throw it at the reader. I feel like I got to know you ...

Wow. This blew me away. You have a great style. Just a question: How did the man get a gun into the courtroom? I guess maybe because it is the ...

"She what I mean?" - I think you mean "see." "A familiar face cam into view" - came "They had to find you Tarina." - put a comma between "you" ...

I liked this. The language and descriptions are really attention-grabbing. "I could not afford, when restless, to purchase new things to conceal the monotony of life." I would cut the ...

I liked the song in the beginning. It was definitely my favorite part. However, I would put it (and the "la la la la") all in quotation marks or perhaps ...

Whoa! *double take* That was weird! We went from rebellious teen mutant to a subservient mutant whose foster brother's best friend is a high ranking official in her cult. *stares ...

I noticed that you misuse the word "where" when you actually mean "were." "We were never supposed to go there." "Where is the remote?" See the difference? First line after ...

Rubric pretty much pointed out all of the grammatical errors that I noticed. The second sentence seems almost unnecessary. You could delete it and the story would feel no ill ...