GryphonFledgling

Whoa, hold on... *brakes screech* Info-dump prologue is NOT something that you want to do. In fact, a prologue without any of the focus characters in it is not exactly ...

Everyone else left some great critiques, so I recommend that you do as they say. I agree that there is a little too much stuffed into this poem. Either write ...

These thoughts pranced through Isabella’'s (added an apostrophe) mind, skipping gently yet running hard. ” " (quotation marks!!!!)[b/]Raise your head[b], (comma) my beauty, raise it high enough for

Yes. In a comparison between your original and the new edited version, you did a great job in adding a more dramatic end. I liked the poem. The way that ...

I didn't realize how long it was until I was about halfway through it. Then I looked at the scrollbar and was like "HOLY COW!" But it is all good. ...

I see that you did continue it... This was interesting. I think that I might like Sandra better from the viewpoint of an outside character like Johnny. Or maybe it's ...

Well, JabberHut beat me here, so I won't bother repeating what I was going to say... Though I want to... Grr... Nah, this was great. At the risk of being ...

Hehe... Ah, the joys of editing. I admire you for sticking it through so many washing cycles. It is an example to us all. However, I agree, you should probably ...

Oh dear... Disillusionment. It had better get better for her fast or I'm going to be one unsatisfied customer. Wow. I really liked this. However, this seems to be moving ...

Nice work. I liked the rhythm to this. It was just so steady and determined. Great, great work. The rhyming was good too. It really didn't feel forced like rhyming ...

Wow, you're doing an awesome job of writing a girl. She really sounds like a girl. She's writing about the stuff that a girl would write about and she's getting ...

Nice poem. I have to agree with those above me that it felt a little lacking. But what you did have in there was really great. I liked the rhythm ...

I dunno... I'm not a poetry critic and I will admit it right now so that no one blasts me for not knowing what I am talking about, but I ...

I remember what it used to be like, before my world fell apart. They're not all filled with mystery and intrigue like TV and the movies would have you believe. ...

I can't say as I cared for this. I really didn't get anything out of it. Who is the main character? At first it appears to be the woman, but ...