Griffinkeeper

Almost forgot. Orks? This is a fantasy fiction. *Moved.*

This is a poem/prose type structure. Except the two should never mix. This story looks unorganized, put it in one structure or the other. When you do, post it in ...

Well, this is the first religious poem I've seen. I only wish I could critique poetry. How do people critique poetry anyways?

I'm going to unlock this. If anyone uses curse words or flames, they will be in trouble. *Unlocked*

How is this a fantasy story? It isn't really even an Action Adventure story. *Moves to Other Fiction*

It doesn't seem very fluid.

This is full of spelling and grammatical errors. You should fix these errors before continuing.

Honest to god, it's pure genius. No one ever puts the out-takes at the end of videos, and they should. Good work. EDIT: I'm going to put this in the ...

SRH16, use the Writing Tips forum to get the help you need.

Very bad descriptions. No reference to where the protagonist is, what he is doing, basic things that are necessary to give readers a picture of what is happening. The few ...

I agree with Niteowl, more spice, but good message. I liked it when I read it.

Would you like this to be moved to Fantasy Fiction?

Mr. Garrison? Sorry Mr. Hat.

Inventive. It is sad, but it seems to have perfect form.

Why don't you just format it, like using paragraphs, etc. That way I can at least follow the text. If I can't read it, I can't review it. That's just ...