Young Writers Society

LOL! I think I like the jagged-ness of it, because it indicates hesitant typing while you're trying to be nice and thinking, "Why the heck am I wasting my time on this??"

The first stanza was great. Second was a little less so, but I liked it overall. Sorry I can't be of more help; I'm a sad, sad poetry critic. But I liked it.

I love this poem. Seriously, this is kickass. But, yeah, just change the paranthesis into italics.

Excellent work!

It sucked. You should stop writing. Now.



Okay! I liked how you could skip over the parenthesis without ruining the poem. It did seem a bit jagged, but I think it's because the parenthesis didn't really do the job. In this case, italics are perfect. Parenthesis are a side note, but italics indicate, "This is something I am thinking but not saying." That's really the message you're trying to put across, so I would suggest changing it.

I like the first stanza better. The second stanza is just a little weaker, because you try to explain youself. Yet you say in the first stanza you don't even want to talk to the writer! Why bother explaining yourself if that really is the case? The first stanza already ends on a strong note, so you can do without the second stanza.

Love the first one though.

fluid or not, it gets its point across, she read some crappy writing and she doesnt want to tell the person they suck, cuz that would be cruel so she turned her thoughts into a poem. Constructive with negative energy, good job.

It doesn't seem very fluid.