Griffinkeeper

Welcome to YWS! a carot was walking in the forest then a giant brockley dinosaur jumped in front of it and laughed at the carrots over weight stomach. then the ...

The story was done okay. It would have been more effective if you had written it from a first person viewpoint and had the character narrate it. "I leaned against ...

Prologues are the most misunderstood part of a story. Most writers use them to introduce their characters. This is an improper use of a prologue. In fact, you should introduce ...

Welcome to YWS! A quick reminder: when you are talking about yourself, you capitalize "i" so that it becomes "I." It is because the word itself is a title, in ...

Welcome to YWS! I see that you've been busy posting work. You should leave some comments on other people's work as well, sometimes they'll return the favor. It's a good ...

Welcome to YWS! This poem is a confused jumble of rhetoric (versus the elegant rhetoric of President Obama.) The poem needs to be better organized. It seems like every two ...

Xirenia! Welcome to YWS! I think this poem is weird, because this person is drowning in the ocean. We don't know why she is in the ocean and that might ...

Welcome to YWS Wolfdaemon! I'm afraid we don't have a lot to go on. It's hard to figure out the plot from a single paragraph. The designation (mc1) and (mc2) ...

This poem is very well written. Gold Star! I liked the imagery of the glass as a crystal ball. It was perfect for capturing the image of a depressed drunk. ...

I felt the blood flow as I slit my wrists Sitting by the edge of the bed Puddles of red dripped from my fingers Staining the oak wood crimson It ...

Hey Blink! I had trouble understanding this poem, which isn't necessarily unique when it comes to poetry. Still, maybe you'll find something useful in this reaction. I was mostly confused. ...

Hi, I'm Grif. This piece has a pretty gritty topic, a massacre. There are a lot of emotions that can come from a massacre; such as anger, outrage, sorrow, and ...

I think #2 and #7 are the weakest of the group, mostly because their title doesn't go along with the haiku. #7 doesn't really talk much about a lesson, it ...

I like the idea of this poem and how it addresses girls who overlook certain guys. At the same time though, I wish it would go more into what kind ...

There were a couple of things that didn't make sense to me, you might want to address them. 1. Rapping on the door. The scene opens with the maidservant knocking ...