Georgie

Ok I already gave my opinion about this piece, but here's another review just based off of grammar, organization, etc.. I noticed quite a bit that could be improved upon. ...

Thank you! To be honest, I'm not sure why he always wears a hat. This story is based on a dream I had, and in the dream he 1. hated ...

Thanks so much!

Eek thank you so much! Yeah I'm not the most practiced in writing action sequences, so I will take these suggestions into careful consideration when I edit my chapters. :-) ...

Ahh thanks so much! I'm always worried about action sequences that they're not well paced... too intense... not intense enough... too cliche. So it was nice to hear this one ...

Thanks so much! Yeah... In my dream there wasn't really a villain(besides ThE cReAtUrE oOoOoOoH), so I thought it could be fun to have a humorous yet still intimidating antagonist. ...

Hello, no disrespect, I'd just like to point a few things out. 1. I think the term 'agreeing with the LGBTQ community' is weird and flawed. You can't exactly disagree ...

Hi thanks so much! Yeah... Like I mentioned, this story is based on a dream, and for some reason in the dream he hated for people to see his hair, ...

Thank you for the review! Hehe, I like the comparison to Yzma and Kronk, thanks. You will have to wait and see! :-D

Thank you! To be quite honest with you, I'm not sure if mummy guy is even important... This story is based off a dream and that was one of the ...

Hey it's me again. :-) Really good job with your revisions! Much nicer to read with the spacing and pacing and dialogue. That is all, not really a review, but ...

:-)

Yah of course! I find it helpful with dialogue to pretend to be my characters, talking in their accents, with the way they speak (frequently used words, intonation, etc.), and ...

Oh thanks. It's the third chapter (or the second chapter if you count the first as a prologue?) of my story. :-)

Thank you very much. This is sort of a prologue really hehe... Yeah, I didn't really know how to continue and I initially had more I think, but didn't like ...