Chapter 1
Hope
We heard the rumors before. But none came close to the story we were hearing. A city, the last place of security from those... those things. Those horrible abominations that roamed the deserted cities and countryside. Could it be real?
“Jack?” my sister said, “anyone home?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah I’m listening.” The old man we were searching for that day continued in his story of seeing the amazing city. Seeing how it dealt with anything that drew near enough to shoot. Not to mention their countless infection tests on outsiders. A safe place where Ava said we could settle. We’ve been looking for information about it for a long time, so when Ava learned about an Irish man who had been there, no distance was too long to find him.
“I ne’er seen anything like it!” he said with a thick Irish accent, “took me near t’ree hours gettin' in!” He wasn’t the type most would believe in, but his story was descriptive, more so than would normally come from a drunk Irishman that is. A city far away, the last of its kind. Having needed to adapt it had huge walls and countless glowing guns, much needed of course for the dispatch of the things that wished to break it down. He went on telling us of magnificent skyscrapers and bright lights surrounding it, like small suns. Personally I don’t know if that is possible. Large lights that can bring the sun into the night? On top of all that, he said they didn’t have to scavenge for food, or search for places to camp.
My sister Ava and I have been drifting for a while. I don’t know what I would do without her honestly.
“What are two youngsters like yourselves doing out here anyway? How old are ya?” he asked. I was lost in thought, so Ava piped up.
“He’s 15, and I’m 18,” she said.
“Well, where are y’parents?” Ava started to tear up, swiftly I said, “They left and never came back, a few years back.”
“Oh, well, oh, sorry ‘bout that I shouldn't have asked.” He was visibly uncomfortable and took a sip from a bottle in a torn paper bag.
After a few minutes of silence he said,
“If you're headed to the city you shouldn’t, it’s a long ways out and the beasts get more in number as you get closer... it ain’t the city, but you could stay here. I got food an’ water, it gets tough, but it ain’t bad.” I looked around at the decrepit yard surrounding us. A broken picket fence with a mixture of weeds and dead grass around it. The house looked nearly too rotten to stand on its own. The “seats” below us were nothing more than old crates. I have no idea how he even lived here, let alone three people. I was going to say no but thanks, but before I could say a word, Ava suddenly got up and harshly said,
“No, we’ll be fine,” and walked away. I hastily thanked him for his time, and told him how she got when our parents were brought up. Then I followed her over a nearby hill, out of sight of the man.
“What's your problem? He was only trying to be nice to us,” I said.
“We need to keep going, Jack, he helped us, but he’s still a stranger, we can’t just stand around all day,” she replied, but I could tell she was lying. She's just thinking about our parents, I guess. The back of my mind told me to stay quiet about it... it never went smoothly when we talked about them.
“Okay” I said after a long silence.
We were in the countryside, those creatures tended to stay in the city, but we didn’t want to take any chances. Stay out of sight, numbskull, my sister's words were all too clear in my head, as if she just said them.
“You hear me?” she said. Oh, she did just say them.
“Yeah, I heard you.”
It was a hot day with only a bit of overcast to shade us. There were green hills, complete with small trees and broken fences that made it look like a picture Ava used to show me... before she burned it that is. She said Mom gave it to her, even though we're only three years apart, it seems I hardly remember my parents. It would cheer me up though, but in some ways sadden me to think of what once was. Old farm fields now full of weeds and varied broken things, too eroded to recognize as anything. Saplings were starting to grow out further in the fields that were at one time used for growing things, and I don’t think those things were trees. Far away was a city, this one however was abandoned, not safe and full of people like the one in the rumors. It had only two recognizable places taller than the rest, still only six or seven floors high however. The treeline marked our path so I didn’t bother looking where I was going most of the time.
“ Hey.” I heard a harsh whisper. I looked up to see my sister motioning for me to get down in the trees. I obeyed immediately, thinking the worst, and we hunkered down in a hollow surrounded by tall oak trees. The cold dirt reached up to grab me as I tripped on a root. My sister gave me a dissatisfied look but didn’t take the time or was too afraid to scold me for being clumsy. Once I got up, there was a spot I could peek. I saw a figure, a few hundred meters away in the field, a creature long and slim, and it was coming this way.
It traveled frighteningly fast, on all four bone white limbs it was like a wild horse. It only seemed like moments, and it was already closer than a hundred meters. It was sickly. It had jagged bones pushed at its skin like they wanted out, its face was like a human’s but twisted and gnarled to the point it was unrecognizable as a face. The rib cage protruded from its sides, but as skinny as it was, no organs were visible. The arms stretched out as it clawed its way across the field like a spider and they were longer than me and my sister combined. But with all that it still looked human in some disgusting way.
It stopped only maybe fifty meters away, only for a moment to feel the breeze or to sniff down a prey. No one knew what they were, where they came from, or why they killed. No ones been close enough that I’ve met that even knows what they do to their prey once dead, or how they even kill them. The next thing I knew it was gone, however me and my sister simultaneously decided to stay in the hollow since we were looking for a camp site anyway. Neither of us wanted to know what happened to the prey. I drifted off to sleep, uncertain of the safety of the shallow dirt hollow that offered minimal protection.
My dream was bizarre. I was in the city up ahead, all alone. Depressed looking buildings, scrap metal, and trash were the only things with me. Suddenly, I heard screams, not human, but certainly not an animal either. They were getting closer. My ears hurt, my insides felt as though they were being ripped out. I wanted to do something, I wanted to run, but I couldn’t. I closed my eyes and fell to my knees. Closer, and closer, louder, and louder. Then it stopped. I felt a hot breath on my face, it smelled terrible, and I was so afraid, but I dare not open my eyes. Screams. No longer it's, but my own.
I woke up suddenly, with sweat pouring down my face. I started to make some breakfast to try and get it off my mind. But all I could think about was the screams and imagine that hot, rotten, breath on my face.
“Whatcha doin'” Ava said, startling me from my daze.
“Making breakfast,” I replied.
“What did you dream about?” she said with an odd certainty.
“W-what do you mean?” I was hesitant in telling the truth.
“Come on, we both know the last time you made breakfast was when you couldn’t sleep cause of that dumb dream you had.” She had me there, but I didn’t want to tell her this time since she bugged me about it for a month last time.
“Nah, I just wanted to be nice to you for once,” was all I could muster to try to break the tension.
"Alright, okay, whatever, just worried about my baby brother is all.” She knew I hated it when she called me that. But I refused to let her get a rise out of me this time.. A few minutes of silence passed. “I think we need to go there.”
“What? Where?” I replied.
“We need to try and find the city, there’s nothing out here for us, if we find it maybe...” she trailed off, deep in thought. “Maybe we can make a living there, y’know.” She finally said. I was a tad bit furious that she was even thinking about this.
“We can’t make a living there if we’re dead, you heard that guy’s warnings! Besides, what's wrong with this place?”
“It’s lonely and boring, we aren’t living out here! We’re just trying to live!” We both turned away from each other, more than surprised at the sudden outburst from each of us.
“I’m just saying it's better to try and live than to not live at all.” I said some time after.
“Then let's try to live, let’s try to make it to the city no matter what we have to do.” All her words were said with such fierce determination that I knew we would go. But we shouldn’t. And yet I couldn’t help but feel she was hiding something from me.
“Alright fine, but if it starts to get dangerous my vote is that we turn back, okay?” I said.
“Okay... but my vote is bigger than yours since I’m older.”
“Is not!”
After that we ate and we looked out East. That was where the man said the city was. Does the city exist? Will we even make it there if it does? My head was filled with thoughts and doubts while we packed. We were headed somewhere, we just really didn’t know where.
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Hi EthanWrites,

Mailice here with a short review
The title piqued my curiosity and I started reading right away. I like the story very much. You get the reader right into the story without a lot of build-up, which leaves the reader with some questions. It's a good way and keeps you reading in the hope of finding answers.
I like the concept of your story. The siblings already have a goal in mind, right from the beginning, but I think the most important thing will be the journey to get there. I like the siblings and the dynamic with which they talk. They seem to have been through a lot.
You have a great way of writing and the structure of this chapter is well done. Technically, there is nothing to criticise; the paragraphs are clear, the story is structured and I haven't come across anything grammatically wrong worth mentioning. There is also nothing to criticise about the story itself. I like the dialogue and descriptions. You stick to your style and the story stays serious all the time.
I was shocked about that. Probably because one knows it too well. It also gives your story more credibility and I hope that in further chapters, which will (hopefully) appear, such things will occur a few more times.
I also really like that sentence. I don't know why, but it gave me goosebumps.
In summary, I can say that I liked the story, you have a good way of writing and also as a stand-alone chapter it seems very solid.
Mailice.
Thank you! Hoping to get back into my writing again with a new chapter now that I am alive again.
Hey it's me again.
Really good job with your revisions! Much nicer to read with the spacing and pacing and dialogue. That is all, not really a review, but great revisions!!!!!
Thanks!
hey, I'm ducklin and here to review!
Sorry if this comes a little hard. I know it's the first chapter and it's all getting started but I'm missing a bit of depth in your story since it's a bit plain in my eyes on some moments but nothing to worry about I likes also a big part of your story.
Your dialogues are good but sometimes it annoys me when you do the ok with no capital letters but that's
something subjective.
The punctuation looks perfect!
Keep on the good writing
-E
Thank you for the review! This is pretty much my first real story, I understand that it seems bland at times but I'm really forcing myself not to give too much away. I want to expand on why this is happening and individual motives. If this turns out how I hope (which it very well may not) the story will get more expansive than just "we need to go there cause its safe." I'm trying to find a way right now to show that Ava is hiding something but it's a little bit difficult. I thought I changed them all but apparently not, the oks I mean. I changed some to okay because OK seemed very harsh.
Thanks for the review!
Another update is that apparently they ARE "okay" in the google doc, but not here lol.
Hahaha WoW evil powers of the writing Gods
I really liked this story, it had a lot of suspense and kept me engaged. I have a few suggestions here. Here I think you meant bottle? People don't usually drink out of bags.
Also a few times you said ok or Ok I think it should be all caps like OK but that doesn't really matter I guess. At the end in this line:
He says Ok, ok as if they had argued about it which they didn't. It's like saying fine, it feels like he lost an argument and is like alright fine whatever. I also think you could have put up some resistance from him. I think in this situation most people wouldn't immediately agree with her and would be hesitant and say no at first. Other than that I couldn't find anything else. Great work!!! I'm excited to read the rest of this book and see what you do with it!
Thank you for the feedback! I'll see what I can do with maybe creating a bit of an argument. They are siblings after all!
Thank you again and I like you profile picture.
All fixed up and added a bit!