GML

A small, chubby man was standing in the doorway, wearing a pair of brown courderoy trousers and a white shirt. He squinted at Peters with his small, watery eyes. He ...

You used "sigh", "boy oh boy"(who says that?), "dunno", and other such words a lot. It became annoying the way the MC talked and I hated her by the first ...

the sweaty Christmassy lyrics hanging and oozing like treacle hanging off of a spoon. Hanging and hanging. A blizzard whips around the isolated house, whistling and howling in the swirling ...

You freaked me out with this. Freaked me out. I suppose I can get scared fairly easily, but this was a real nice job of it. Boy, I’m dark. Black ...

Azure soups churn as ice across sacred sunbeams, now waning towards winter. Water dribbles like sequent spots, each drop bouncing against the rim, casting rainbows below mighty stars – suns, ...

I think that this should be a poem. Or maybe this could be a neat introduction to a short story about how a falling star affects someone's life. That would ...

Extremely well written and extremely sad. I think by the time you described the MC's family, I was officially depressed. Part of what makes this story so good to me, ...

Brilliant stuff here! You worked yourself into the mind of a child and let that child's imagination run. (occasionally bumping into reality's roadblocks) It seemed as if it was a ...

Torrent. Is that just supposed to be the title or the beginning of the story? under a nearly dilapidated waiting shed that seemed to be apologizing to me that it ...

Loved it, loved it, loved it! Anyway... Those boys usually didn’t talk to me, but this morning they had, eyes cold above their gremlin, fox and troll smiles. I love ...

"Cleaning time!" a young girl sang, her hands above her head as many robots detached from the wall and hovered around the room. Seems strange to me that she would ...

The next morning, my emotion-liquor hangover allowed me to get out of bed and dressed without feeling my newly-realized heartache. I love the idea of an "emotion-liquor hangover." The stress ...

Wow, that is very sad. I think that it seemed as if he was going to be killed, because it's just that type of story. So although that was sad, ...

I would start the story with the drillmaster's, "Get a damn move on!" It captures me more than your beginning and there is that large info dump that needs to ...

She had utterly abandoned the childish attractions she had felt for him in the past when he had rejected her, and had matured to caution around him. Take out "utterly" ...