Young Writers Society

I think that this should be a poem. Or maybe this could be a neat introduction to a short story about how a falling star affects someone's life. That would be a great lead-in.

I think you could "beef up" the description a bit, make it more vivid, let us see the star. Other than that, I thought it was beautiful.

Unless you are going to make this a poem, I would take out some of the repetition you have. You have a lot of it, and you'd probably be surprised how short this actually is if you took out any ideas or phrases that repeated.

A dream lost, a glass broken, a kiss- a kiss that meant everything- or nothing at all.

funny of you to say that. i was going to make it a poem, but then this happened so i just went with it. might change it if i feel like it. if the wind blows me that way(dont laugh at that)

This was a very good piece. You could make the description a little more flowery, but this stands great without it. I agree with the previous post on the poem bit. If you could work this into poetry form it would be very beautiful. But that's your decision, and this does work in its current form anyway.

thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like this piece! I couldn't really find any mistakes staring me in the eyes, great job, great idea! You could create more of a poem out of this,
Great job!

~Arris