Flemzo

when John dies, I can't picture his buddy just leaving him there. I think he'd probably panic, call for help, shake John like crazy, cry, something . Ted doesn't seem ...

Near the end, you used "Do not." Do not use "do not" in dialogue unless you have a really formal character! But, as Ted doesn't strike me as formal, and ...

Ah... Well maybe you could put "Author's Note" or something before the italicized bit. I thought it was part the piece as well. I'll get on that. Who knows how ...

The backlash led to this. I didnt like this line, it just didnt feel right. Technically, it wasn't part of the piece. I was just giving a little background about ...

Wow... hilarious. And the YouTube video with it, amazing. Homophones are tricky ("buy" for "by" in "by some now"), but it was well written, and I laughed.

I'll admit: I laughed. The only thing that distracted me were some homophone problems (like "here" instead of "hear" in the last line of Jamie's). I liked it, good job.

How do you know this is a poem to God and not the author's actual father? I assumed because the word "Father" is capitalized throughout the poem. But, as always, ...

The saying is true here: truth is stranger than ficiton. I enjoyed this. Whatever critiquing I could've done was already done by Claudette, so there's no point in being redundant. ...

I thought it was weird that clog doesn't have a rhyming line. Then I started thinging of words that rhyme with "clog" and how they could fit in. In short, ...

Y'know... I kind of like the sound of "you" in place of the murderer's "he". It kind of changes the view a little, from a narrator telling a story with ...

I'm sure there will be some backlash, but I'm agreeing with Phorcys about the rhyming. Honestly, I stopped reading it halfway through because it didn't catch my attention. My only ...

Thanks for the critique. As for the time frame, the kidnapping was three hours before he woke up. What I meant to imply by the usage of "decades ago" was ...

"Totally read it and stuff", haha. I'll check it out. I've only read a little bit of Vonnegut, but what I've read I've enjoyed.

The moral can be easily explained: we had to write an essay about a moment in our life that affected us the most. We had to get some sort of ...