Firestalker

This does not make any sence improve and i will check it again.

1 make it a little longer. 2 No mistakes in grammer. 3 Lack of discription at some points. Well thats it.

Wow you really got researching didn't you. Great!!

Too short and boring. Continue it and i will praise and critique you.

Its really good, but expand it please.

I agree. you started it good, but ended it bad. Try improving.

Better, great, fantastic wow!!

Sorry i dont like the story. Its unclear and well boring. Try improving, i would like if you would improve it, please.

Yup your right. I think whats missing is a introduction about the characters since the readers would get confused reading this.

Its a good story. I got to hand it out to you. Continue it. All i can say is improve your grammer.

For all of the above who could not crack all the codes PM me i'l give you the full code

Good, better, i love it! (Well maybe not that much)

Oh did you i'll check it out

I hope i'm not hurting your feelings but Improve!!!!! Improve!!!!! Improve!!!!! I dont understand a word. Thank you for reading this crit

If it was a little bit better and longer i'd swear you were Rowling Great, wow, Terific, Well done, freakin awesome