FantasyWriter15

Hello! Fantasy here with a review for you! First off, you should start a new paragraph every time someone else starts to talk, otherwise it gets really confusing and jumbled ...

You guys have excellent grammar and sentence structure! I am really impressed with this, and I have already read the first chapter, so I am really interested in this, like ...

I came here to give a review, but now, I just want more of the story! :D I thought you did a really good job with the sentence structure and ...

I don't think that you should abbreviate because in the second stanza, it seems to interupt the flow of things. Also I noticed that there weren't any rhymes, when you ...

I think that you should separate the lines when you get to a comma or semicolon, I think that it would just make it flow better, and not make it ...

When I read this, I didn't think about climbing a mountain, more about a blizzard or something. Most haikus I know are about weather, or flowers. Just something, more related ...

The first line made me think for a minute, "Remember the innocence?" I was thinking, what innocence? Then it finally clicked that it was the innocence of a child, maybe ...

These actually remind me of the songs I write, except, I don't write rap. So if these weren't rap they'd be like, the same. I noticed a few grammar mistakes ...

Okay, this is my first review, bear with me please. First thing I noticed was the fact that it was all one HUGE paragraph. Now that might be because you ...