Fael57

America will change its measurement system when Britain converts to Euros :P Why all this negativity? World diversity is awesome. Do we all need the same measurement system? What's next, ...

An excellent bit of reasoning sir! I, too have my doubts about what you refer to as a "domed lifestyle". Even if a terrible natural or man-made disaster were to ...

Marvelous! Simply exquisite! I quite enjoyed reading this poem, and it conveys images stupendously. Many poems, even those written by celebrated authors, are often difficult to read straight through w

I like it, except for the line you mentioned. I don't think you should remove it, just see if you can modify it to fit your rhythm better. I noticed ...

I agree with what the others have been saying, and it seems like the rhyming is a little forced. Also (this is merely a personal preference), I have found that, ...

Excellent job! I also noticed the rhyme within the line, but was confused at the "and proud listeners be" area. My biggest suggestion is ADD PUNCTUATION. If you do that, ...

It has great potential, as the others have said, though you might want to see if you can expand and make it a bit longer ;) Also, you may want ...

The alien theme is a bit cliche, and so is the terrifying aliens doing surgery on the helpless specimen (Gag). What this story needs is ORIGINALITY. You need to bring ...

I agree that the middle was a bit to repetetive. You also used and way to much. The "broken head and jaw..." part sounded kind've silly and gross, and kind've ...

I agree with the above authors. The name "Sevy" is wierd and if Lily's going to call him something, i think it should just be "Sev". Also "For the love ...

First of all, it is an okay poem, but I think you messed up the 5-7-5 syllable scheme in the second line of the second stanza. "Ex-cept for sum-mer camp" ...

I agree with Royboy that the first part wasn't needed. Also, I think that maybe you shouldn't go that deep into the story in just the first chapter. I mean, ...

I agree with the others, but I think you should try not to space out your paragraphs. :wink: Fael57 :D