Published February 16, 2011
Mystery Man
You make my heart soar
It grows wings
And flies away,
Over the moon,
Over to you.
It sings inside me,
And out to you.
Humming happily away,
Buzzing with excitement,
Excitement at seeing you.
I feel alive
I feel free
I feel your love,
Your love for me.
You promise to love,
You promise to care
You kiss my lips
You touch my hair.
Your injured heart,
Torn apart,
Put back together
We will live forever.
My heart thunders,
Roars like a lion.
My pulse starts to race
Like a horse at the gates.
The look in your eyes,
Sends me to the skies.
The look on your face,
Is like saving grace.
*The way you move,
Like a caged tiger.
Your gaze catches me,
Keeping me safe.
You see me from across the room,
Your face lights up,
Brighter then the moon.
You be mine,
My mystery man
* i don't like this bit. im not sure what to do with it. make it another verse or remove it or what
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140,293 Literary Works • 673,080 Reviews
thanks guys... i'll try to fix it...don't know what i'm going to do with that line though O.o
i'll figure something out eventually
I like it, but I do agree the last line isn't that good, but it could be. Just change it a bit.
This is a good piece.
I like it, except for the line you mentioned. I don't think you should remove it, just see if you can modify it to fit your rhythm better. I noticed that the pattern is different throughout the piece, but in this case, that makes ist better in my opinion. Well done!