Evi

Hey Yoha! I love the simplicity and clear emotion here, and since Pengu has already given you sure a thorough critique, I'm just going to say a couple of things. ...

Hello Spike! Here as requested. just keep hope light the spark. You're missing either a piece of punctuation, an "and", or a "to" after the word hope. Not much to ...

Feel free to continue your Twilight discussion in this thread . ;) *locked*

Hello Jagged! Were you one of the people with whom I was discussing experimental prose and perspective-tense combinations in Chat? I think you were. I also think you posed the ...

Hey Jackle. ;) Now, I'm a little confused as to what this is supposed to be? A short story, the beginning of a novel/novella, or some sort of background introduction ...

Hello Ellie! Here as requested. So, I really liked the idea behind this, this whimsical world and dreamy atmosphere. I, too, liked the pastel line the best, but I felt ...

Me again! Let's hope I can be more helpful with this segment. Zeda’s green eyes peeked at me sceptically from behind her teased mousy brown hair as we exited the ...

Hey Jackle, Evi here. This was good. =O Your writing style is easy and accessible, with good sentence structure and length variation. Your characters seem natural and the dialogue believable. ...

Hey Dalliance! It's all i can think "I" is always capitalized. Occasionally authors will try experimental stories or poem with no punctuation whatsoever, but obviously you weren't aiming for this, ...

Mandorelute! I've seen your poetry floating around, but I don't think I've taken a look at it yet. This review will be brief and minimally helpful. I'm not sure if ...

Hello blackbird! So sorry that this has been left with only one review for so long. The acrid smell of smog permeates, an unwelcome invader from Los Angeles, his destination. ...

Hey Nicko. Evi here. Hope you're finding everything well around YWS! Geraldine Hancock ran hastily . Her bare feet slapped the wet pavement while her breathe ripped out ice cold ...

This is pretty fantastic. Navita gave you a full crit, so I'm just going to stop by with fragmented comments. “You may have noticed by now,” I said, “that I ...

Hey Nenc! Evi here. Not much here to critique, and since I haven't read anything up to this point, I'm just going to focus of stylistic suggestions. :arrow: This other ...

Hello papersoltice, pleasure to make your acquaintance. ;) Before I talk about the story itself, I suggest you format this story as "story", an option you can find at the ...