Eraqio

Ah ho ho ho. well now. This, to me, is a bit of a, excuse me, bitchy format. Not that you are trying to be a bitch, but it's all ...

I dont really know how to comment on this. Like honestly, it struck me in such a way that it was kind of beyond my analysis. someone with a higher ...

I take issue with a couple things but screw it they're not important. Anyways, this was very... well, good. It all read smoothly enough without being cumbersome in it's message ...

All very sad. And a bit of uncaring musing. Hmm, sad feeling, it was good. Really the imagery and the word usage had me going back and reading it acoupld ...

Fabulouso!!! not really. anyways, this played out like an episode of ... well anything aimed at teenage girls. Sonya is a bitch, btw. Even after the intitial, oh I hate ...

It read like the kind of slap-dash approach you get from manga about schools. Also the line at the end where he explains why all the streets have the strawberry ...

whoo, mysterious. Little brown? I dont know if that is a typo or a phrasing I'm not familiar with, but whatever. Anyways. The opening threw me, then I understood it, ...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You suuuuuck, give me more!!! It was simple with plenty of heart, my Gosh just that initial floating feeling I got from the first paragraph made me jump on ...

Too personal. Thats really what I initially get from this. The whole thing was a more for your eyes only thing. but hey, you shared so who gives a flip. ...

hahaha, I liked the 'G' line. anyways, down to brass tacks or whatever the hell the phrase is. I liked it. It diddnt change my life and I diddnt want ...

A musing seafarer. This was all flowed like that, like the narrator was musing after different thoughst in his head, and they all came off very pretty. The presentation of ...

it kept feeling to me kind of.... choked. Brief statements like this are excellent, and make a reader want more, which is great. But the wording of this just... was ...

This could have been separated into parts. Thats one thing. Second, you add details that are really needless at different parts that dont need expansion, you overload us with all ...

Cute. This read like a Disney scene. Dont take it as a bad thing, I grew up back when Disney was good and diddnt have to rely on the maveriks ...

Too little dialogue and awkward scene change. Yes this is almost nothing BUT dialogue but every line of speech was short. It was choked before real meaning could be brought ...