Emerson

Ah, telling! Oh, wow, I love Snoink's previous comparison of writing and stripping... how provocative. She's completely right, although I can explain this in less of an explicate way. :P ...

Oh, I love this... Thank you so much for posting it Fish! Only a few notes: you might want to read over it yourself, I assume when you were transcribing ...

Ack, punctuation! This is something you need. Poetry & Punctuation . This could have a lot of emotions behind it, but I Can't really tell. Why? Because 1. You're telling ...

Well.... If you want to be a poet, study up on writing poetry more ^_~ This was real... flat? You do a whole lot of telling and there isn't really ...

It made me think of Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult, although I'm not sure anyone would know it unless they heard H.I.M.s ghastly cover of it. This ...

This was cute, and I liked it, but it was so simple. The whole poem is telling, and showing is so much better. Your rhyme scheme was really simple, and ...

Gah. I hate when you make me cry. *stabs* Though, a thank you a million times over. ^_~ We can feign for now, ja? EDIT: Oh, I forgot to say ...

I don't read lyrics pretty much ever, but here are a few suggestions: Write "you" instead of "u", Capitalized the pronoun I, and instead of writing with / for your ...

I liked it! The visuals were great. But... I think I'm lost on meaning. Was... this about sex? XD Some of the lines seemed a little odd, the way they ...

The greatest problem was this is that all you did was tell. But that's all I'm going to say. ^_~ Because, I'm sure someone else has said that and expanded ...

This is so overwhelmingly morbid, but subtly, that I can't help but love it. the "tick...tick...tick" did irritate me a bit, but it works. I think I just don't like ...

This was really, really good to read! Though, I liked it up until the rhyming started to seem forced, here for example: ‘When I’m out of thoughts,’ said I ‘I ...

I read some of it, but I feel much too lazy to read it all. I don't particularly like the drug content, and Bluu is right, even though we do ...

I agree with everyone else to the largest extent ^_~ When writing a poem with emotions in it you need to keep your reader in mind. You're writing directly to ...

For one, you don't need those line breaks in between unless it is for a stanza (one line a stanza does not make ;-)) Also, I read this quote in ...