Published August 21, 2007
This is what I've got so far. Give me suggestions, critiques, tell me like it is. Just don't be too brutal...
did u know that u’re all i ever think about
did u know just the thought of u numbs the pain
did u know u save me from myself
u save me from myself
I’m as good as dead without you
you stop me when I go to far
u get me through and save me from myself
u save me from myself
I’d be long gone without you
I’d be lost without a hope
you help save me from myself
u save me from myself
It may not make sense some spots. I'm always changing it, so...
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,254 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
You have a nice smoothe way of writing, so I think you should definetly finish this, but I think you should repeat yourself a little less and put more new things in.
seems a little too dramatic plus you might want to say why the "I" needs to be saved.The theme you are using is a theme that is very often used, so try to put a new angle to it.
I hope I was able to be some help.
Have fun finishing!!
Thank you! I've never really tried a song before this one and Candle Therepy!
Great job i really like it. I sang it in my head theres so many ways it can be sang
**cough** full words **cough**
I don't read lyrics pretty much ever, but here are a few suggestions:
Write "you" instead of "u", Capitalized the pronoun I, and instead of writing with / for your line breaks, put in line breaks. It'll make it easier for people to read.