Emerson

Heyo. :) My review as requested! There were just some small things in the story that had me a bit lost: This was the first time for all of us ...

Hey there! One thing that stuck out to me in this poem was that your punctuation isn't isn't real consistent. You have some punctuation - commas, semicolons - but they ...

Hey there! I don't really have much to say about this on the positive end, not because it's bad but because nothing really jumped out as amazing, and you also ...

Hey there! One quick suggestion I have is to read over your work a few times before you post it. There are some obvious typos that you'd be able to ...

Hey there! Welcome to the YWS. I'm not sure what you really want as far as a review since you've published this, but I figure I'll review it anyway since ...

I really love the message behind this because I love the idea that love cannot be seen with the eyes. But, since you only spent a few minutes on it, ...

Now tell me, what is your price, to kill a man? No comma needed on the second line. This poem is very interesting because the tone and the tale behind ...

Hey there! So here I am to give my review. :) I really love some of the lines in this, and I love the detail you give in certain places, ...

Hey there! so I really liked that you tried to reinvent a brother's Grimm tale. I wish I could say more good things about this, but I guess it's just ...

Tenyo made some great points with the laughing while dying/funny lines - those are brilliant, but the rhyming sort of kills it in places. you're back to laughing and smiling ...

Hey there! I see you just joined the YWS today. :) Welcome to the site! Have you introduced yourself in the Welcome Area yet? I'm sure we'd all love to ...

The rhyme scheme in your poem completely reminds me of Robert Burns , which is awesome. I really love the story you have in this, it's very interesting and very ...

I really love the dark and evil mood to this poem. The death, the destruction, a child dying, a mother crying... hehe. :) However, I feel like your rhyme scheme ...

This is a very interesting poem because you're blending it with fantasy which I think is a great combination. I liked the beginning bit (first half of lines) the most, ...

I'm not entirely sure lack of punctuation is the best way to show spontaneity. For one thing, lack of punctuation more so shows chaos, disorder, and better reflects a speakers ...