Emer

at that dirt-dirty crossing with not a nothing in sight. I love this line. In fact, I love this poem. I love you! I love life. ^_^ See how happy ...

Bit of a confusing piece, and very purple... Line by line? Forsooth! The sky flashes Zeus’s golden lightning. This is a little ambiguous; how can a noun verb another noun ...

For an eleven year old, this is quite good; however, please pay attention to where you break your lines. There should be a reason for everything in a poem--every single ...

I'm afraid I'm with Cade--you should listen to her! This is a prime example of navelgazing, and while as poetry it wasn't that poor a sample, it... just doesn't hold ...

Hello, my love! I remember you telling me about this; I thought I'd take a look myself. Countless scribes have told the stories of men who struggled to return home, ...

Goodness, this is ancient! Regardless, I do like it quite a bit, especially: You are young, you are fresh, you are ripe for the picking. And oh! If you would ...

I remember really liking this story because it was the first thing I had ever read that showed me how a story could be something more than just a simple ...

Just curious--why did you italicize this entire poem? Was there a stylistic purpose? If you don't have a reason better than 'It looks cool!' then you need to get rid ...

What? There's no more? I just read all of Year 1 and this in one sitting, Saint! I demand more! *pounds fists on table like toddler* In all honesty though, ...

1. Your title sounds very amateur, and actually puts one off reading this poem. If you had had at least two critiques already, I would have gladly passed this by. ...

One thing, first of all: please please PLEASE do not follow 1dering at star's advice on where to break your lines. That's the worst thing you could do to this ...

As Matt so eloquently pointed out, it may be a "wee bit cliche," but your skill with imagery and the original word choices quite often make up for it. "If ...

Yes, I am alive and kicking! And I promise I'll post in GC soon. =) But for now, onto your lovely poem, yes? ^^ Tonight the lights are dimmed; The ...

It's not bad, but in all honesty, there's very little flow--and flow is what gives poetry most of its aesthetic appeal. The fact that every line ends in a period ...